Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 98612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98612 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
I have to remind myself that while I’ve been living the single, mostly celibate life, she’s been raising a baby alone.
She sniffles and pats my chest. “Come. Let me introduce you to Kody.”
She brushes by me, and I follow her down the hall.
“I just moved him to the nursery a few weeks ago, because he got too big for his bassinet.” She pushes open the door and steps into the room.
Unlike the rest of the apartment, the walls have been painted a pale, buttery yellow, and there are decals of mountains and cartoon animals on the wall beside his crib. A mobile of airplanes hangs above it, and in the middle of the airplane-themed sheets, lips parted and eyes closed, is a bundle of baby.
Lainey reaches into the crib and brushes her finger along his cheek. He smacks his little lips, and his hands open and curl back into fists. I stare down at him, so small and new and very clearly mine. I can see it in the shape of his face, the set of his mouth.
“Isn’t he beautiful?” Lainey asks on a whisper.
I nod, unable to find words. I want to ask if I can hold him, but I don’t want to wake him, especially based on how tired she looks. “Does he sleep through the night?”
“Occasionally.” Her smile is soft.
My mind is spinning in a million different directions. “I can help. I’ll help. I know we’ll need the paternity test, but we can have that done right away, and I’ll talk to my agent, and we can figure out exactly how to manage this. My schedule is about to get really busy, but when I’m not traveling for away games, I’ll be here to do this with you. I’ll take care of both of you. I’ll get a nursery set up in my house.”
“No!” Lainey growls in a tone I’ve never heard before.
A hot feeling creeps up my spine. One I’m not sure what to do with. I may not be prepared to be a parent, but if he’s my son, damn right I’m going to do what I can to support and raise him. “I’m his father. I’m responsible for him, just like you are. I take care of what’s mine.”
Lainey moves to stand in front of the crib, protective and possessive. “We don’t need to be taken care of. We’ve made it this far on our own, and I don’t need you coming back into my life and turning it upside down. You’ve already done that once—I won’t let you do it again!”
I open my mouth to argue, but I’m cut off by a shrill, angry cry.
CHAPTER 18
MINE
Lainey
I scoop Kody up and cradle him to my chest. My heart is pounding; anxiety makes my mouth dry and my hands sweaty. “Shhh.” I bounce him gently and pat his bottom while he continues to wail.
“You need to leave,” I tell RJ.
“Come on, Lainey. You can’t keep me out of his life.” I can both see and hear his panic.
It’s echoed in me, likely for very different reasons. “And you can’t come barreling back into mine and think you can take over. That’s not how this works.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not trying to take over. I just want to be part of his life and yours, if you’ll let me.”
The screaming ratchets up a couple more notches, and I worry I won’t be able to get him to settle—and then it’ll be another night of too little sleep. “Can’t you see you’re making us both upset? Please, just go.”
“We need to talk about this. You can’t tell me I’m a father, let me see my son once, and then ask me to walk away.”
He’s right, but I also don’t know how to deal with everything that’s been thrown at me since RJ came slamming back into my universe. He has fame and money—lots of money. Enough that he could fight for Kody. Anxious tears slide down my cheeks, and Kody’s cries get even louder. “Please, you’re only making it worse.” I turn my back on him and shush Kody, whispering brokenly that it’s going to be okay. “Mommy’s right here. I’m right here, shhhh. I’m not going anywhere.” I take deep breaths, willing myself to calm down, to find some perspective.
I should be glad he wants to be part of Kody’s life, but all I have is fear—because I’m struggling in this tiny apartment, and he has a huge house and all kinds of resources that I don’t. I don’t really know him, and he doesn’t know me. We only have six weeks in a bubble, which is nothing like real life. Especially not one filled with diapers and baby vomit and sleepless nights.
Kody’s cries quiet down, and he bumps his nose along my collarbone. I stroke his silky black hair as he hiccups and whimpers. I turn to face RJ, but he’s gone.