Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 72156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Turning back to the library, she saw Anne waiting for her.
“You do know you could get sick by being out in the cold.”
“I’ll be okay.”
“You’ve got a death wish. You must have.”
“No, no death wish from me.” She sighed. “Do you think it’s possible for people to become friends again even when they’ve put them through hell, or are the cause of that hell?”
“I honestly don’t know. Basing it on Elijah and myself, it’s not possible. Not even close. Anything else, I’m not sure.” Anne put a comforting arm on her shoulder. “Tell me how everything is going with Preacher.”
“You know how everything is going with Preacher. He’s the kind of guy who…” She looked down at her finger. He wanted to marry her the moment she gave birth.
Her nerves about the birth hadn’t dissipated. If anything, they had gotten worse because she truly didn’t know what to expect. They were both floating into uncharted territory. To help with her nerves, Randall had agreed to extra visits. He wouldn’t do anything to harm the baby, but just to listen to her worries and concerns, which was more than she could have ever asked for.
Running fingers through her hair, she tried not to think about what had been going on in her life. So much had happened in what felt like a short space of time, but she knew it wasn’t even close. Taking a deep breath, she tried not to think too hard.
“He’s the kind of guy who…?”
“You know, he’s just a hands-on kind of person. Nothing will ever get past him.” She rolled her eyes. “I can’t even believe I’m talking about this with you.” She laughed. “This is all so crazy.”
“Of course it is. Life is crazy.”
“What is going on with you and Elijah?”
“The same old, same old. Only, he doesn’t like that I might be seeing someone.”
“Seriously?” Robin had an idea that the person she was seeing was, in fact, her father but she didn’t say anything.
“Yeah.”
“And is this thing with the other guy serious?”
“I don’t know. I mean, there are times that it feels like it is going somewhere, you know, but then I’ve been so far out of the loop, I wouldn’t even know what was up or down most days of the week. Elijah doesn’t know him. He knows I’m seeing someone. We have separate rooms now. The kids, I don’t know if us staying together is hurting them or not. The rumors suck, they always will.” Anne blew out a breath. “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. The baby is fine. Preacher and I, we’re fine. We’re all fine. You know. No biggie.”
“Then why are you nervous?”
“I guess I’m waiting for something bad to happen, you know? It’s hard not to worry about the next thing. I can’t help but wonder. It’s fine. Ignore me.”
“It’s hard not to worry when you’re talking like this.”
She laughed. “I’m sorry. You’re right about everything of course. Ignore me.”
“No, I’m not saying don’t talk about it. Just tell me.”
They walked back behind the counter and Robin looked around the library. “I’m scared to be happy.”
“Because of everything else that has happened?”
“Yes. Shouldn’t I be afraid?” she asked. “The last time I was pregnant with Preacher’s baby, I couldn’t … it didn’t last.”
“I think you’re worrying about all the wrong things.”
“I don’t know. Between losing my memory, being kidnapped, marrying a guy who I wasn’t in fact married to. It’s kind of hard to let yourself be free, to not worry about what’s around the corner. I’m starting to think people like me don’t get happy endings.”
“Okay, now I need to know. People like you?”
“Yeah, I clearly have done something wrong, don’t you think? In the past, or in something. I don’t know. I just feel like I fucked up big time and now I’m being punished for it.”
“I hate to say this, but you’re starting to sound like a crazy person. There’s no rule book, Robin. There’s no balance or something like that.”
“Karma?”
“I personally don’t believe in karma. For me, karma is just a thing people say and they don’t even have to mean it. I could say that what I’m doing to Elijah is karma but I’m not going to give him that kind of power and you shouldn’t be giving anyone karma either.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just, I think I’ve been having a bad couple of days, and you’re right. I shouldn’t let fears get in the way.”
“It’s good to be worried, and to make sure everything is fine. I get that, and I even believe in that, but everything else, you need to let things go.”
“I forgave Bishop.” She pointed behind her, even though it was in the completely wrong direction. “That’s a step forward, right?”
Anne laughed. “I wasn’t thinking about him, but I guess in a way, yes, he’s the same. You need to stop worrying. It’s only going to make you feel sick.” Anne put a comforting hand on her arm. “Now, you’ve got to learn to take care of yourself and to not worry about all that has happened before. This is about you and Preacher. Your little girl, and the baby you’re due to give birth to. There’s no right or wrong, here, just you and your feelings. Have your feelings changed about Preacher?”