Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 145123 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 580(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145123 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 580(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
“Oh, Brooke.” She hugs me. “You know as well as I do that no low is unrecoverable. No wrong is unrightable. I know you as a person, and, I’m guessing, so does Chase. There’s nothing you could have done that you can’t fix, sweet girl. Because you’re not vindictive, you’re not willfully hurtful, you’re not mocking or petty or cold. Anything you’ve done is nothing more than a mistake, and I’m going to help you figure out how to fix it. I promise.”
“I wouldn’t have thought those things about me either. But, Sam,” I cry, “he…he…found the list of shitty stuff I wrote about himmmm.”
“Shitty stuff? I’m confused. I read the book, and you didn’t say one shitty thing.”
“I know!” I sob. “That was the problem, he said. Clive was too perfect.” I sob harder. “So I wrote a list of awful things to try to get myself in the frame of mind to rough him up around the edges, and now…” I hiccup. “And now this!”
“Did you explain to him why you did it?”
“I tried! But between telling him the book was about us and the list and having just told him I loved him, he—”
“Wait…you told him you loved him?” Sam interrupts eagerly.
I appreciate the sentiment, really, but now is so not the time. “Sammy!”
“Right, right, I’m sorry. Maybe later.”
“With everything he was finding out, I just think it was too much, you know?” I cover my wet, snotty face with my hands. “He couldn’t take any more, and he didn’t want to hear anything!”
“Maybe he just needs time, then, babe. I mean, it had to be a shock, you know? It’s not like the book is abstract to him. The man’s been actively into it, reading it, working on it for weeks.”
“I know,” I cry again. “I know.”
“So, just give him some time. Get together a plan for when he is willing to talk and go from there.”
“You really…” I pause through a stuttering breath. “Think he’ll forgive me?”
“I don’t think it, B. I know it. Look at everything you’ve done for me.” She gestures around the apartment and smiles softly. “You’re going to get this karma back, and I’m going to make sure it’s in the form of mending your broken heart, okay?”
I nod through my tears. I want to say so much more, but I just can’t.
“Now, let’s start by getting you in the shower because you are absolutely disgusting. And then, we’ll get us a plan together, okay?”
“I love the sound of a shower and a plan.” I hiccup through a breath. “I just don’t know if I can come up with a plan good enough to fix this, Sam. It feels…impossible.”
“Brookie,” she whispers and hugs me tightly again. “Do you love him?”
“More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything.” I nod so many times my neck starts to feel like it might snap in half.
“If you love him like that, babe, then nothing is impossible. That kind of love doesn’t fade away, and I know for a fact he feels the same way about you. I saw it with my own eyes in Nashville. He loves you and you love him and while things aren’t great right now, I know they will be. Love like that is rare, B. It’s rare and it’s beautiful. Use it to give you the strength you need to overcome this.”
I know what’s happened between Chase and me has been a whirlwind. It’s been this all-consuming thing I’ve felt since the moment I laid eyes on him.
I know it’s not the normal pace of a relationship.
But I also know that it’s the realest, most precious thing I’ve ever felt.
I can’t walk away from this. I can’t walk away from him.
I have to find a way to fix this.
“Now, how about that shower, yeah?” Sam reminds me of the basic necessities that are required to human properly. Lord knows, I’ve been slacking in that department ever since Chase walked out of our hotel room.
Frankly, I don’t even remember the last time I ate or drank anything.
All I can do is nod, and she helps me to my feet.
And Sam stays there, by my side, her calm, rational, and gentle approach providing a tiny balm to my aching chest.
I strip out of my clothes and step under the hot spray of the shower head, and before I can even start to think about shampooing my hair, a lightbulb just clicks on.
I think I know what to do. I just hope it’ll work.
First: finishing this shower.
Second: a date with my first love…my computer.
God, I hope it works.
Thursday, June 15th
Chase
The long walk back from Jonah Perish’s office is bittersweet.
Yesterday, I turned in the final edits on Accidental Attachment, and today, Jonah called me into his office to celebrate with a bottle of champagne and more than a little back-patting.