Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 106065 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106065 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Apathy was a heartless drug that lined up Greer and Marcus next to each other, and they evoked the same feelings in me. As in, absolutely nothing. I didn’t care. I saw Archie’s face in my mind, his concern for me, how deeply he cared, and I felt nothing. I dug forth memories of Mom, my grandmother, my cousins…
Nothing.
Dad. Nothing.
Sloan. Nothing.
“We’re almost there, pet.”
“Whatever.”
It was getting dark quickly today. Clouds rolled in to snuff out the last sunlight of the day.
“I’ve been where you are right now,” Greer said quietly. “Every time I came home from a deployment, I’d be surrounded by family—even my brothers who know exactly what a war zone’s like—and I’d still feel like nobody understood. So I shut down and felt nothing for a while. Sometimes for weeks before the fog lifted.”
“All right.”
People I adored could die right now, and I wouldn’t give a shit.
That’s what apathy did to me.
Some reprieve.
Seeing the house up ahead, I released a long breath and straightened in my seat. The house could burn to the ground for all I cared.
I could burn to the ground.
“River and Reese are putting Shay through a minor hell, so we’ll share the lawn with them,” Greer told me. “They’ve set out torches and dug out fire pits.”
I got it. Exposure therapy. Shay needed not only to learn the difference between a barbecue and a house fire again, but he had to feel it. He had to be able to join a barbecue and not get panicked.
They’d been doing this all week.
Yesterday before we went to the club, Shay had admitted to us he felt horrible for keeping them from spending the night in the cabin he considered his home now. And it had less to do with the fire that still stunk up the place, and more to do with the fact that they only had one heat source to keep them warm enough in the cold weather, and it was to start a fire in the fireplace. And he couldn’t relax. He couldn’t fall asleep knowing that flames were so close.
Archie had suggested an electric fireplace or a portable radiator, but Shay said that’d be like giving up. And I sort of saw his point of view. Nothing wrong with radiators, but if they switched out the heat source, it shouldn’t be a decision based on fear.
I was certain Reese and River would find a balance. Maybe they could have a radiator at night when Shay needed to feel at ease, and then they could practice with the fireplace during the day.
Greer pulled into the carport, and it was almost empty for once. Just River’s and Reese’s vehicles were parked there.
“Sloan will be here soon.”
I quirked a brow before I jumped out of the truck. “Why?”
He followed suit and shut the door, so I did the same, and we met behind the truck.
“He’s worried about you and wanted to be here.”
“That’s dumb.” I planted my hands in the pockets of my jeans and started walking toward the house. “The kids haven’t seen him in over a week, they just said goodbye to their mom who will be in Chicago for a year, and he’s coming here to see me?”
“You’re right. Completely idiotic. What a dumb shit Sloan is.”
I shot him a scowl. “I didn’t say he was dumb, but he should be with his children.”
Greer looked utterly unaffected, almost as if he were as apathetic as I was, and I knew that wasn’t true. He was just feeling me out, humoring me, and seeing where he could crack my armor.
I’d spent some time around Sadists in my day.
He shrugged a little. “Archie’s dropping him off here before taking the kids home. They’ll prepare the barbecue area and get started on dinner, and we’ll be…I don’t know, an hour or two later than planned? It’s fine.”
I snorted softly and yanked up my hood. It was cold, and I didn’t have my jacket. “You think you can crack me in an hour?”
“I think I can crack you in five minutes.”
I rolled my eyes.
“The rest of the hour is reserved for you bawling your eyes out,” he finished. “But maybe we’ll get to throw some punches too.”
Glad he had it all figured out.
I inhaled the slowly fading smell of burned wood as we walked alongside the house. Or perhaps it wasn’t fading. Maybe I was just getting used to it.
The house didn’t look dead or haunted anymore. It was…in surgery, more like. It’d been aired out. Flooring and rugs had been removed. Only the club area where the fire had originated was still under investigation, but professionals were in full swing on the entire house. We had two sump pumps now, whatever that was. Electrical wiring had been cut or dealt with some other way. Heavy-duty fans and industrial dehumidifiers in every room. Cleanup and mold buildup prevention were underway.