Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Troy still worked at Stone Industries as a security guard.
It made sense.
No one else would hire him with his record and Chase doubled his salary the day after I left. I didn’t know why, but many reasons passed through my head—maybe he increased the salary to keep Troy quiet about the arrangement, or perhaps he was trying to get to me through my brother.
Chase had definitely won my mother over. She called me daily, begging me to talk to him. He’d moved her, my nieces, and nephews out of South End and into a five bedroom home in Knightson. All of the kids now went to one of the top private schools in the state and a nurse visited my mother three times a week to help with my disabled nephew. I had to admit that when I found out, a large bundle of worry rose off my back. I’d felt light on my feet for most of the day, but then reality hit.
If I continue to not speak to him, how long would he pay for the house and private school tuitions?
“How’s Vivian?” Benny asked.
“She’s still depressed, but she’s finally getting up and taking showers now, to the joy of my nose.” I forced a grin. “I think it will take her some time.”
“And have you heard from Troy?”
“I talk to him every day. He rented a studio apartment a few blocks from us.” Troy confessed to me one night in a drunken stupor that he moved so close so he could see Vivian whenever she left the house.
Too bad she never left the damn house.
Troy spent his days working and his evenings in strip clubs drinking away his sorrows and depressing the poor dancers with his sad story about Vivian and him. I’d joined him in a club once. The owner had kicked us out for bringing down the mood.
“And have you found a new job yet?” Benny asked.
“No. As soon as I say my name, the person on the other end either hangs up or a guard escorts me out of the building. No one will deal with me.”
“Then Chase spread the word to not hire you.”
“I guess.”
“How are you paying the bills?”
I bit my lip. “Chase is paying all of our bills. Even my student loans are all paid off.”
“Jasmine—”
“Don’t start, Benny. It’s not like I have much of a choice right now . My bill collectors and even my landlord are too happy to take his money when it’s sent their way, no matter how many times I tell them not to accept it.” I held up my hand. “And stop stalling. You called me and said you had some information on Chase. What is it?”
“You’re impatient. I haven’t seen you since you cursed me out at my house. I’d like to spend time with . . . my daughter.”
How long have I dreamed of someone saying that to me?
“I have a date.”
“Okay.” Benny opened the newspaper. “I’m really sorry, Jasmine. I wanted to tell you I was your father so many times.”
“You’ve already said that and I accepted your apology.”
“I cared for your mother, but I couldn’t leave my wife, not while she was dying.” He formed his right hand into a fist. “And then when she passed away, all of you were in your teens, and your mother wasn’t the same.”
“You already told me this.” I gazed at a squirrel that raced up a tree. “I don’t hate you. I just wish things had been done differently. I needed a father, Benny. I needed to know that someone loved me. When you helped I always felt like I owed you, as if I were never going to pay up my debt to you.”
Sorrow seized me like it had been taking a hold of my heart each day.
I cried a lot at night and felt stupid for each tear.
How pitiful was I to weep for the little girl who always wanted a dad, or shed tears for the shattered new love that Troy and Vivian had? And even my feelings for Chase brought a shower of tears and lightning-fast pain to my chest.
I told no one, but I thought of him almost every minute. Tender moments we shared played in my head like a depressing movie. On and on I reminisced about Paris and all our times together. I smelled his scent on my skin no matter how many times I scrubbed it—new leather mixed with vanilla.
Like an idiot, I repeated his voicemail messages again and again, drowning in his luscious baritone. He begged me to come back to him. He pleaded that he’d take me any way I would come. But with shaking fingers, I ignored his messages and stayed away.
And in the late hours of the night, when Vivian slept and Chase hung outside my window in his limo, I imagined him moving inside of me and my fingers mimicked his strokes. I moaned into my pillow and came so hard my body rocked. But then the hunger for him returned, and the hollowness appeared as if he had gutted me from within.