Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 104501 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 523(@200wpm)___ 418(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104501 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 523(@200wpm)___ 418(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
“Your friends.” My voice lowered. “Your face. The helmet was for you. They wanted to hit you, not Colton.”
“Shut up.”
“You got in a fight with them the day before. I heard all about it.”
“SHUT UP!” He shoved me.
I didn’t move. I was right there, right in his face. “Is that why you don’t go see him? Because they did that to hurt you?”
“They were his friends too.”
“No.” I shook my head. “They hung out with him, but they were your friends. Your pals. You raced with them every weekend. Your fight. It should’ve been you. That’s what you think, isn’t it? They hurt him to hurt you.”
He couldn’t talk. His chest heaved up and down. His shoulders were tight. He was close to breaking. I wanted to break him.
“Why were you at the hospital? Why didn’t you go to the room? Why, Marcus?”
“Because it should’ve been me!” he spat out.
I broke him.
“You’re right. Is that what you want to hear?! Yes! It should’ve been me. They wanted to hurt me, so they picked on him because—”
“Because?” I grabbed his shirt, forming two fists. “Because why? Say it.”
“Because he was weak.” He pushed me back, a hard, fast hit to my chest. “They chose him because he would do what they wanted. He put on that damn helmet. They knew it was defective. I was the one who told them that. Me! I told them about the helmet in the first place.”
His eyes shimmered with unshed tears. They pooled on his bottom lashes, but they didn’t fall. Not yet.
“It was my fault, Caden,” he choked out. “The whole thing was my fault. You got the truth. Is that what you wanted?”
“I wanted to know why you refuse to be there for your brother, when it’s obvious you want to be.”
“Well, there you go. Now you know. What are you going to do now?”
“Nothing.”
“What?” He laughed, weakly. “You’re not going to do a goddamn thing? After all of that?”
“There’s nothing to do except tell you you’re a moron.”
The tears fell then.
“What?” he asked.
“You didn’t give him the helmet. You didn’t tell Colton to put it on. You didn’t pick up the bat. You didn’t do any of those things.” I moved close, lowering my voice. “You didn’t swing. It wasn’t you.”
“Stop it, Caden.”
He started to turn away. I caught him and hauled him back. I wouldn’t let him, not when he needed to hear this. “It’s not your fault. It’s those assholes. It’s their fault. They chose to do it. They chose to hurt him. You didn’t choose that. Fucking hell, Marcus. I had no idea you thought all that.”
“Why wouldn’t I?!”
“Your face. That’s what I thought was the problem. That every time you look at him, you see yourself. You think it could’ve been you.” I paused. “That’s what I see. I see me. I see another life I could’ve had. I’m the one who fights. You race. I party and fight. Colton was the one who shone. He was the star, not you or me.”
“I know.” His mouth pressed closed. “I know.”
“Stop skirting around him, okay? Go see your brother. At home, at the hospital, wherever.”
He held my gaze again. “Okay. I will.”
“I just need help with it. That’s why I snapped tonight. I knew you were at the hospital. Summer never said a word.”
“How’d you know?”
“You left your coffee.”
“Shit.” He straightened. “I didn’t even think of that.”
I clasped him on the shoulder, this time in solidarity, not intimidation. I shook him gently. “I just need help. That’s all.”
He nodded. He clasped a hand on my shoulder. “I will.”
We watched each other steadily. It was just us. Our mom was in denial, waiting for the day her son would “get over it,” and our father had been on business trips almost the entire time. He’d rather be away than see his son the way he was now.
Broken.
SUMMER
After getting a drink, I waded through the house, but I couldn’t find my crew. No Avery, no Clarissa, and no Paige—I guessed I’d include her too. I told myself I wasn’t looking for Caden, but I knew I was. I couldn’t find him either. He wasn’t in any corner of the house, basement, living room, garage even. I had no clue, so I circled back to the backyard and finally heard my name called.
“Yo, Sum Sum! Over here.”
Clarissa waved me over to a picnic table set up in a far corner. An entire group had gathered there. Clarissa blinked a few times, flashing her dimples, before throwing her arms around my neck.
“Where’veyoubeen?” Her voice was muffled, tickling my neck.
I patted her on the back. “I was upstairs. Where have you been?”
“We’ve been here.” She beamed, stepping back, but still holding my hands. “I’m so happy you came this weekend. I’ve missed you. I miss May too. Oh! She called. She got sick, and something else happened, but I wasn’t understanding it. Anyway, she’s not coming, and I miss her. I missed you too.”