Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 75553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“Ah, yes,” he replied, “I wanted to apologize for everything, Griff.”
My eyes widened at the sincerity in his tone. Before, I would have assumed he was just doing it to make himself feel better, but his innocent expression as he gazed up at me told a different story. Willing to finally indulge him, I took a seat in the chair at his bedside and nodded, encouraging him to continue.
“I know what kind of a monster I’ve been in the past,” he continued, “and you have every right to resent me for the rest of your life, but that doesn’t make it less important to apologize.” He paused to take an uneasy breath. “I never should have treated you or your mother the way I did. I know it’s not an excuse, but I was under a lot of pressure at the company and it got too much to bear at one point. I turned to the bottle in order to cope with it, but as we know, that didn’t turn out well at all.”
I nodded. “No, it didn’t.”
“I know my drinking got out of hand and that’s when I turned into such a monster. I’ve been seeing a therapist for a while now and trying to make sense of everything in my past because of what I did to you and your mom. Now, I’m on my deathbed and I didn’t want to leave this Earth without giving you the apology you deserve, even if you don’t forgive me.” He paused and coughed a little before resuming his apology. “I’m so sorry, son. If I could turn back time and change things now, I promise you I would, but I can’t. Instead, I’ve just got to live with it and make amends as best I can. I hope you can understand.”
I nodded again and I could feel tears beginning to gather in my eyes. After all these years, I’d never thought I could feel anything but hatred for my father, but here I was crying for him. I could understand the stress he was under and I could understand how he cut himself off from my mom and me, after all, I’d cut myself off so much in the last few years due to my job and my history. It was impossible to argue with him when his explanation made so much sense.
“I’ll admit I’ve held a grudge against you for a really long time now, Dad, and it’s gotten so bad it’s affected my own life,” I began to tell him with a sigh. “I haven’t been able to get close to a woman for most of my life out of fear of becoming just like you. I never wanted to start a family because of how fucked up ours was.”
Maxwell grimaced. “I’m so sorry about that, son. I never wanted you to be afraid of these things, but I wouldn’t worry about any of that. I have no doubt that you’ll never turn into me. You’re a much better man than I ever was.”
I finally looked up and met my father’s gaze. The tears I’d been holding back fell and I couldn’t contain the overwhelming grief I felt. My father reached out and touched my shoulder gently.
“You should find a nice young girl and have a family,” he told me. “It’s my biggest regret that I destroyed my family and I’ve missed you and your mother every day since I left. Don’t make the same mistake I had. Family is the most important thing we have in this world.”
I nodded my understanding as I began to sob, finally letting out the emotions I’d been bottling up all these years. My mother entered the room soon after our talk and sat down beside me. We held each other and watched as my father drifted back off to sleep, exhausted from our intense discussion. I held my mom’s hand tight as we watched him take him final breath. The two of us were inconsolable as we realized that he was gone for good.
I embraced my mother for a long time after that and thought over the last words my father and I had exchanged. It became clear to me in that moment just how important family was and how important it was to be surrounded by people that you care about. I didn’t want to end up like my father. I didn’t want to have a lonely, empty life devoid of love. It came to me like an epiphany in that moment exactly what I needed to do.
I needed to get back to New York and talk to Remy. I’d had our relationship all wrong this whole time. Instead of putting walls between us and pushing her away, I should have been pulling her closer. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again.