Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 108165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
She leans her backside against the hood, hands on either side. “I haven’t reconciled it in my head. At least, not when I’m with him. Alone, reading the letter from Molly, I feel confident—resolute. I feel brave and selfless. But when he touches me, everything blurs.”
Jackson’s jaw clenches.
“My confidence wavers. I fear he’ll see right through me. Because as much as I tell myself it’s just my body, I know it will be more because hatred is still a form of passion. It’s just the other side of the same coin. To make it believable to him, I have to believe it, at least partly, myself. To make him want me, a part of myself must also want him.”
“Francesca, don’t ever let a man touch you unless you want it as much as your next breath. Selling your soul is worse than suicide. Dying is easy. Living is really fucking hard.”
She shakes her head. “Why would you say that? Do you think it was easy for my brother, his wife, and their son to end their lives?”
“Yes.”
Her face wrinkles with disgust as she pushes off the car and brushes past him toward the door. “You didn’t know them.”
“I’d rather die than …”
She stops with her hand on the doorknob. “Than what?”
“Fill in the blank. How often have you heard someone say, ‘I’d rather die than’ … lose a child? Battle cancer? Watch a lover die? Have someone torture you? A million other things that could happen to someone, and given the choice, they’d choose death. And sometimes your mind’s not right. Something alters it, and we make permanent decisions that we wouldn’t make if we were of sound mind. You didn’t fuck Archer because you’re of sound mind. You’re alive despite the devastation of losing your brother and his family because you’re of sound mind.”
She bows her head as if his words are still making their way to her. Then she opens the door. “Being of sound mind is overrated.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
FRANCESCA
I hate being wrong. It’s an ego issue. A quintessential human trait that I’ve willingly accepted.
Revenge is a poison that never clears the body. It simmers into acceptance. That’s the best possible outcome. Sadly, I haven’t reached that outcome. Jackson’s pep talk didn’t help. It was sound advice, but I will forever be a defiant child: the girl who wanted to be a boy until the right boy came along to make me eternally thankful for being a girl. The student who wanted to be an overachiever more than a wife or mother. The aunt who regretted living the better part of her life alone with nothing more than a wall covered in framed accolades.
I don’t know who I am now that my people who defined happiness are no longer alive.
Was it all a lie? An illusion? Were they not happy at all?
Me: Can I borrow $1000?
Archer: You can earn it
Me: A) I’m not an escort B) If I were, you would have had to pay 10K for the hand job
Archer: I’ve paid less
Me: Then stick with your bargains. Nice knowing you
I look up from my phone and smile at Eloise while she peels peaches for jam.
Archer: Where are you? I’ll drop it off
I grin.
Me: My grandmother’s peeling peaches for jam. I bet she knows who you are. She probably shops at your wife’s store.
Archer: My wife’s store? Someone’s been doing her homework
Me: Yes. I was a straight-A student
Archer: In dental assisting school?
Fuck you, asshole.
I set my phone on the table, the screen side down. “Can I help you?”
“Yes. You could measure two-and-a-half cups of sugar into that glass bowl and cut that lemon for me.”
“You got it.” I stand, and my phone vibrates.
Archer: I’m sorry. You’re amazing and smart. And sexy AF. I’ll leave an envelope for you at the cafe where we met. Dinner next week?
Me: kissing emoji
“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” Eloise mashes the peaches.
“Do?” I measure out the sugar.
“Are you going to the police with the letter from Molly? Are you going to let them know you think she started the fire? Or are you going home? Not that I want to see you go. But I hope you choose the easiest path to peace.”
“I’ve had a few encounters with the Sanfords. Molly is awful, but I’m trying to decide if she’s redeemable. I think that’s what keeps me here. If I walk away, I have to feel at peace. I need to feel that she’s learned a lesson.”
Eloise frowns. “It could take quite some time for that to happen. I don’t think you want to put your life on hold for that long.”
“Maybe not. But since I’m between jobs, I have time if you’re willing to put up with me.” I seal the lid onto the container of sugar.
“Perhaps you’ll find a job in Boone or Rhodale.”