Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
To keep whoever he was texting a secret.
Jason had never let her see his phone. He had always kept it locked unless he was using it.
Liyah didn’t want to be with someone she couldn’t trust. Trust should be mutual.
Nox surprised the shit out of her when he placed his unlocked phone in her hand with the string of texts still pulled up on the screen.
Now she was unsure if she should even look. She might be violating his privacy.
Her stomach dropped when she quickly scanned the texts. All of them, every last one, written by Nox. None answered by whomever he was texting.
She glanced at the name at the top of the screen. The person he was texting so often.
Holy shit. He’d been texting his late wife.
She made sure to keep her expression as locked down as his and not make any sounds while she scrolled up and took a closer look at the messages.
She scrolled even farther trying to find where his one-sided conversation began or where Jackie’s responses ended. But as she slid her finger up the screen over and over, she realized it was hundreds of unanswered texts, if not thousands. The string of messages seemed endless.
After a bit, she noticed about two years ago the texts were sent almost hourly throughout both the day and night.
As she read, she struggled to breathe.
Why?
I don’t know how to go on without you.
I miss you.
I don’t know what to do without you.
I miss you.
I’m lost without you.
I miss you more every day.
I love you.
I should’ve been there for you.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I miss you so fucking much.
I can’t do this without you.
I don’t want to live without you.
Eventually they slowed to several times a day. One particular text caught her eye, causing a lump to get caught in her throat and her vision to blur.
We’d be celebrating her first birthday about now.
Guilt washed through her for reading such personal thoughts. Was she invading his privacy, or had he wanted her to see them all?
She risked a glance at him.
He was staring straight ahead with his face still a blank mask.
Since he hadn’t told her to stop or snatched his phone away, she continued scrolling to see a year later, the unanswered messages were reduced to a couple of times a week.
Then in the last few months, it returned to once a day. Sometimes more.
She wondered what triggered him texting his late wife that often again.
She paused when she read the reason.
We found Sadie.
Another dark moment in his life. A discovery that made his healing screech to a complete halt.
As Liyah continued on, she knew the exact point when he met her. Every text dripped with guilt and self-loathing.
He beat himself up over and over.
She stopped skimming the painful thread when the following caught her eye: I made a mistake. I’m sorry.
She looked at the date to find it was sent after the first time they had sex.
I don’t know what to do.
I feel so damn lost.
Each text cracked her heart even further until it was thoroughly shattered. But it was the final text… the one he just sent…
That made her stop breathing and that broken heart seize.
I love her.
Her eyebrows knitted together. Was Liyah the “her” in his text?
Did he love her?
She glanced up, her heart suddenly whole again and thumping so hard it made it difficult for her to hear anything else. “Nox…”
“I used to share everything with her.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Everything. I missed that. I know it sounds really weird—maybe even creepy—but at her funeral I tucked her cell phone in her coffin.” He shook his head and his voice caught as he continued. “It’s messed up, I know, but I was desperate to keep that connection somehow. I knew eventually the battery would die and no one would ever read the messages anyway…” He finally opened his eyes and met hers. “I thought it would help me cope or...” He shook his head. “Something.”
She attempted to clear the thick from her throat. “Doing that didn’t hurt anyone, Nox. If it helped, then that’s all that matters. It’s obvious that when you give someone your heart, you do it completely.”
His fingertips skimmed over her cheek. “And now it belongs to you.”
Holy shit. “You felt the need to share that with her.”
“Yes. But now, I want to share everything with you.”
She considered that statement along with the three simple words in the last text he sent.
I love her.
Simple but also not. The concept of love might be considered simple, but real relationships were complex.
“Nox…”
He finally tipped his face down to her, his eyes soft. “Hmm?”
She slid the pad of her thumb over his bottom lip and the corners of her mouth curled slightly. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Forty-Six
It was his fault. He was the reason his baby girl was buried without a name.