Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Even from where he sat, even though she smiled softly, he could see the sheen in her eyes.
Nox remembered being disappointed, too, once they started trying. He was worried they’d never get pregnant. Jackie cried every time it was negative, even though she tried to hide her disappointment from him.
As each group member shared their good memory—some were short, others long-winded—his chest got tighter as it came closer to his turn.
Then he was in the hot seat.
“Nox?” Aaliyah prodded. “Tell us a good memory. In more than a couple of words this time, please.” Again, she was using her mom voice.
Only, he wasn’t a fucking child.
“I have too many.” That was four words.
“I need you to pick one.”
His favorite memory was similar to hers, but he would not voice it out loud.
He closed his eyes and watched that moment play out all over again like a movie on the back of his eyelids. His reality. His nightmare.
He could see it plain as day.
He shook that memory free. “Sunday mornings in bed,” he lied.
“What about them?”
“Snuggling under the covers.” He made sure to keep his expression masked when she searched his face.
She didn’t believe him.
The woman was too damn astute. “That sounds sweet.”
He wasn’t the only one lying.
He tipped his head to the side. “It was.” He yelled, “Next!” before she could ask another question.
The look she shot him was most likely similar to what she gave her sons when they were being bratty.
If he was going to lose sleep, it wouldn’t be over that.
Ten minutes later, everyone had answered her question. Apparently, it was time for a new one when she announced, “Now… What do you miss most about them? Name one thing. Nothing’s too small or insignificant to mention. It could be the way they smiled. Laughed. Their bad jokes. Anything. I’ll start… Mark cupping my cheek and kissing my eyelids. The first time he did it, I thought it was weird. Now, I miss it.”
Nox used to cup Jackie’s cheek, stare into her eyes and whisper, “Love you.”
She’d come back with, “Love you more.”
He’d finish by saying, “Impossible.”
He waited with dread as all attendees to his right shared what they missed most about their late spouse, parent, sibling or even best friend. The reason they were in the group.
His chest tightened when he was next.
When he was a kid, he wished his superpower was being invisible. Tonight was no different.
“Nox? What do you miss about…”
He had held his breath, waiting to see if she would say Jackie’s name. He had never told the group who he lost. Not her name, not who she was to him.
He had kept all of that to himself.
“Your loved one?” she finished.
He thought she was going to throw a curve ball at him. She didn’t. Even so, he didn’t want to take part this “go around the circle” game she was playing tonight.
On purpose.
To get him to participate.
Another reason not to come back next week and find another group. Even if it was more than an hour away.
He dug his fingers into his thighs to keep his emotions under control. “Everything.”
“Could you be more specific?”
No. “There’s nothing I don’t miss about her. It’s impossible to narrow it down.”
And that was true.
Aaliyah could accept his answer or not. He didn’t care. The same way she didn’t when he told her he didn’t want the damn cookie.
As she opened her mouth to push him, he yelled, “Next!”
Her mouth snapped shut and she shook her head, shooting a glare across the circle. Then like magic, her voice became soft as she encouraged the person to his left to continue.
He won the battle.
Once they got back around to her, instead of coming up with another question, she opened the floor to anyone wanting to talk.
One side of Nox’s mouth pulled up as he crossed his arms and sat back in his chair and let his muscles loosen.
He’d no longer be in the hot seat.
All he had to do now was escape the second the meeting was over.
“All right,” Aaliyah called out. “Thank you for coming tonight and to everyone who shared. Don’t forget to stick around for refreshments. Nox…”
Oh fuck.
“Do you mind sticking around afterward to help me clean up and put everything away since you haven’t done it yet? I think it’ll be fair if everyone takes a turn.” She was really something else by guilting him into staying.
He did mind. Not the helping clean up part, but the sticking around part.
But he would do it so he didn’t look like a complete dick.
Though, that ship had probably already sailed.
Chapter Nine
Liyah stood by the refreshment table, half-listening to the conversation around her. She wasn’t paying attention to what was being said so she hoped no one asked her a question. She was too busy watching the man with the jerky movements as he folded up chairs and stacked them in the storage closet.