Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“Give me a little credit. I’m not that much of an asshole.”
Facing the bed, his back to Driver, Tam took a deep breath. Driver watched his shoulders rise and fall, his head hung forward, and there was tension in his spine that hadn’t been there when he’d been in Driver’s arms. Going on instinct, Driver closed the distance between them and gathered Tam into a back hug.
“I just want to understand,” he said, resting his head against Tam’s cheek.
Tam melted back against him. “I don’t want you to look at me differently.”
“I won’t.”
“You will.”
Driver couldn’t argue with such certainty. Tam wasn’t ready to listen to logical arguments anyway, and anything he said now would only be an empty pledge. Tam needed proof, but the only way Driver could give it to him was if he opened up. Catch twenty-fucking-two. Tam didn’t make a move to be released and Driver enjoyed holding him too much to let go.
“Were you raped?” Driver asked. That had been the first thing he’d guessed and nothing he’d seen so far had erased the possibility.
His whole body trembling, Tam nodded.
Driver squeezed his eyes shut. “More than once?”
Another nod confirmed Driver’s fears. “Jesus.” The curse came out without his permission and Tam stiffened immediately. Driver squeezed him tighter. “How old were you?”
Tam struggled and broke Driver’s hold. He spun and shoved at Driver’s shoulders. “You want to know the first time someone crammed their dick in my mouth or the first time they fucked me? Huh?” His face was angry red, tears filled his eyes, and his whole body vibrated. “I was ten the first time my mom sold me to her dealer—it was the first time I was forced to my knees.” He shoved again and again until Driver was backed to the wall. “Or are you only interested in my ass?” Anger came off him like an explosion. “I was twelve when my mother’s boyfriend held me down and let his buddy fuck me for a hundred bucks. Is that what you want to know? You feel better now? Your imagination all cleared up?” Tam kept pushing him so hard Driver’s back slammed against the wall over and over again.
Then, with a plaintive cry, Tam started beating his fists against Driver’s chest.
Stunned and sick, Driver didn’t stop him. If being his punching bag gave Tam an ounce of relief, Driver volunteered. Let Tam take out all his frustrations and pain on him if he needed. But the outburst didn’t last long, the punches slowed, replaced by deep, gut-wrenching sobs. Swallowing back his own grief, Driver enveloped Tam in his protective embrace. Tam didn’t fight it, just curled against him, accepting the comfort.
Together, they sank to the floor, both completely wrecked. Driver wasn’t sure how in the hell he’d ever keep his promise. Because all he could see now was Tam’s incomparable courage.
Chapter Seventeen
Driver’s back was killing him. He’d woken up that morning on a hard floor with Tam’s head pinching off the circulation in his arm. After Tam’s rage died down he’d fallen asleep against Driver’s chest. No wonder, an emotional purge so strong took a toll on a person.
Even though Driver was stiff and aching from bruises Tam had inflicted, he couldn’t bring himself to regret being there. It’d been his questions that had brought it on, so the least he could do was stay to comfort Tam afterward. That and buy him a breakfast of donuts and coffee before work.
He did his best not to treat him any differently in the light of day but he did—of course he did. Only a robot would act the same after a revelation like that. Still, Driver didn’t think it was because he pitied Tam. More like he hadn’t realized how fucking amazing Tam truly was until last night. When he looked at those huge brown eyes and confident lift of Tam’s chin, Driver was awed.
Truly awed.
He’d only gotten a tiny sliver of Tam’s story, but it was enough to know he was the strongest, most resilient person Driver had ever met. How in the hell could he remain so lovely and sweet after being put through such hell? It was that thought that kept Driver from breaking when he couldn’t stop visions of all the horrible things Tam must have gone through.
Work helped too. After Tam went to class, Driver rode to New Jersey for another day of physical labor. It burned off most of his anger and left him feeling marginally better.
He was sweeping up at the construction site when Harrison called.
“Buddy! How’s Japan?” Driver answered, propping the broom against the bare two-by-four frame of the nearest wall.
“Crazy, man, you’d love it.”
“As soon as they figure out how to make bikes fly.” He made his way outside, waving to the guys he’d gotten to know over the past few days of work.