Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
He pauses, and the look in his eyes is heated. "I think of you every night. Not just last night."
"Yes, but…last night was a mess," I fumble. "I'm just glad we can still be friends."
"Friends," he says in a strange voice. "Yes."
22
BRIDGET
I'm a little hurt by how he's acting, even though I shouldn't be. He's made it clear he doesn't want to be just friends, even as he takes Daisy to his bed. Well, he can't have it both ways. He walks away, saying nothing else. I hug my arms to my chest and head over to Raven and U'dron's hut and scratch at the door, waiting.
"Come on in," Raven calls out.
I peek my head through the double leather flap that acts as a door, smiling awkwardly at her. "It's me."
Raven brightens, gesturing that I should join her. "Come sit! I was just heating up some tea. You want a seed cake?" She sits near the fire, poking at it with a stick. There's a tripod and pouch over the low flames, the scent of strong tea in the air. U'dron and Raven's hut is neat and tidy, her skinning implements hung in place along one wall. The floor is perfectly even and patterned, everything is in its place, from boots to furs to stored food, and it's clear that this hut is designed ten times better than A'tam's hasty one. I'm always amazed every time I see it that A'tam and U'dron came from the same tribe and yet had very different results when it comes to home building.
I sink onto one of the stuffed oversized pillows next to the fire. It's filled with leather scraps, so it's not the same as sinking into a feather pillow, but it still feels good to collapse onto it. I'm strangely exhausted despite the fact that I just woke up from a nap not too long ago. "Just tea for me, I think. My stomach's a little upset from the food contest."
"Ugh." She blanches, shaking her head. "That's why I'm hiding in here. I don't know how early pregnancy symptoms are supposed to show up, but the thought of eating badly cooked food makes me want to vomit." Her long, silky blonde hair is pulled into a loose braid and her lithe form is elegant, even as she leans over the fire. Raven is everything that would have made my mother happy, I realize. She's graceful and artistic, confident in herself and bold.
She also doesn't have the obstinate streak I do, which just makes me sigh. "Where's U'dron today?"
"Hunting. I mentioned I wanted a dvisti hide to work on and he's made that his goal today. He'll be back in time for dinner." A little smile curves her lips, and she looks so content I'm filled with envy. I'm glad for her, I really am. She resonated to U'dron, the guy she's liked for a while, and he adores her. They could not be happier.
I'm thrilled for her, but it just makes me feel terrible, too, because it highlights how fucked up and miserable my situation is. Which, I suppose, is why I'm here. "Sorry I missed him," I say politely. "But I wanted to talk to you. I have to skip dancing lessons for the next while. Veronica told me to stay off my ankle for a bit." It's a lie. Just a flat out lie. But no amount of dancing is going to turn me into Raven or make things go right with A'tam, so I'm giving up. "Actually, I think I'm going to throw in the towel on the dancing entirely," I joke. "I'm wasting both of our time."
Raven watches me with a curious look, as if she can see right through me and the bright smile I wear. "Are you okay? I heard you were out with A'tam last night. I don't want to pry, but…you don't look happy this morning."
I lick my lips, trying to think of a sufficiently jaunty response, something that will make her laugh and distract her from my true feelings…but I've got nothing. "It didn't go well."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I don't. I really don't. But somehow I find myself spilling all the details out to Raven anyhow. How it was supposed to be innocent and ended up with me topless and us kissing. How he wanted to do more and I pulled away. "He's hooking up with Daisy now, so I shouldn't want him," I moan to Raven, my hands over my face. "I sure shouldn't want him after having sex with him and knowing how wrong we are for each other but…I can't seem to stop thinking about him. I can't seem to stop wanting him, even though I know I can't have him."
"He's the reason why you're learning to dance, right? Isn't that what you told me?" There's no judgment in Raven's tone.