Total pages in book: 161
Estimated words: 151410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 757(@200wpm)___ 606(@250wpm)___ 505(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 151410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 757(@200wpm)___ 606(@250wpm)___ 505(@300wpm)
“I want the same, Rory. You are my forever.”
“I am?”
I pressed her fingers to the tattoo of the northern lights. “I want to be the person you deserve.”
Fuck. I wanted nothing more than to be that person for Aurora. But I was a monster. I knew it. I relished in it, but on occasion, I channeled my monster. Most days, I liked being a monster. Rarely I didn’t. Most of these occasions involved Mom or Greta, and Aurora. The only times I ever felt guilty for being a monster were when Greta, Aurora, or Mom weren’t quick enough to hide their fear from me. Fear, not of what I would do to them, because they knew I’d die before I’d ever hurt the people I cared about. Fear of losing me to the darkness, and of what I could do to everyone else. Maybe my darkness scared them more than Dad’s because mine hadn’t been born from childhood trauma. I had been born a monster. It was in my genes.
“But I’m a monster and that won’t ever change.”
Aurora nodded. “I know. I’ve known you all my life, and from the moment I overheard Dad telling Mom about how you killed a man for your twelfth birthday, I knew you were a monster, but it never changed how I felt about you…”
Alessio and Massimo knew my monster, but they didn’t mind, Massimo because he was a monster too, a different kind, but a monster nonetheless, and Alessio because he wanted to be a monster to silence the demons that haunted his nightmares. Mom and Greta knew it to, but they preferred to ignore it and to pretend I could be better. Dad and my uncle knew all about my monster, but they, too, were too monstrous to care—a monster was useful in our world.
Aurora, however, knew my monster, but didn’t ignore it, didn’t like it, didn’t use it. She accepted it because she loved me.
I could see love in her face and eyes. For a long time, I hadn’t been sure if my messed-up brain could feel a pure emotion like love. But if this feeling I had for Aurora wasn’t love, then what was it? When I was with Aurora, I wished to be better. No one had ever made me feel that way.
I’d been high on alcohol, high on adrenaline, high on anger, lust, and pain.
Today I was high on Aurora.
I wasn’t sure if it was enough. If it could carry me through the thunderstorms that ravaged my brain sometimes. For a long time, too long, it had made me pull away from Aurora, waiting for a moment of certainty. But when was there ever absolute certainty in life?
The only thing I was sure about were my feelings for Aurora right now. “What does it say about you that you made a monster fall in love with you?”
Aurora’s eyes widened a fraction, her breath halting. She swallowed noisily, and a small smile tugged at her lovely lips. “What does it say about me that I fell in love with a monster?”
I cupped her cheeks and kissed her. “If you knew how crazy I was about you, you’d run, Rory.”
“I think I do know. You killed a man because he flirted with me.”
“And I’ll do it again. You have my fucking heart, and that kind of shitty gift comes with a lot of baggage.”
Aurora laughed. I kissed her again. “You know what’s the worst about loving you?”
She shook her head, eyes wide and expectant. “For the first time in my life, I fear death because it would mean I’d lose you.”
“Then you better try not to get yourself killed in one of your crazy adventures.”
“How is she?” I asked Diego as I followed him upstairs to Carlotta’s room. I didn’t believe her insistence that she was fine.
“Her heart is giving us reason to worry. She probably needs another transplant.”
I nodded slowly. I’d feared that was the case. Maybe telling her about Nevio and me wasn’t the best idea, but she was my best friend, and I wanted her to know.
I knocked on her door and stepped inside. She sat at her desk, probably studying for her college classes. She looked pale, even her usually pink lips were pale as if the color had been washed from them.
I went over to her. “How do you feel?”
She sent Diego a scowl. “I hope he didn’t exaggerate. I’m fine.” She turned to me with the same scowl. “Don’t look so worried.”
I tried to relax my facial muscles but it was difficult. When Diego closed the door, I said, “I came here to tell you something, but now I’m not sure I should.”
She shoved my leg. “Stop it.” She scanned my face. “You and Nevio, right?”
I nodded. “We’re dating. I know you don’t like him…”