Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
On and off the ice.
Not that I’m thinking of his hands.
Or how damn good he looked on the ice.
@BensonJeannot61
Great game. Thanks for the hat trick—and the jersey.
I had a blast. Cameron
I click my pen against the vase holding the flowers he left for me. I admire them, a hint of a grin on my face as I gaze at the velvety black petals. Callie is right. Last night was too easy. It was second nature to cheer him on and to wink when he winked at me after each goal. I felt everyone watching us, I felt the excitement, and I swear, when he scored, the crowd was over the top.
But I was louder.
Before the game was over, I was tagged in video after video of me cheering and how Benson’s eyes always found me. Everyone ate it up, just as he said they would. The way he sent me a knowing look when he skated off the ice after the game left me breathless.
And knocked me completely off-kilter.
The data may have spoken for itself, and I wholeheartedly believe that people would want more of us as a pair, but I didn’t prepare myself for this. I guess I was pretty sure Benson would say no. I think, subconsciously, I wanted him to say no. I knew he would show off. I mean, the dude scores, and he rides his stick like it’s a bull. He throws himself into the boards. He chirps at everyone and doesn’t hold back at all. He plays the part of a flirting dude perfectly. I’m unsure which he loved more—scoring, or grinning at me. He knew he was right, and he knew he was giving me all I wanted.
Which has me in my feelings.
My impulsive choice of a boyfriend guy was a great one, but damn it if Callie’s words don’t haunt me. It would be too easy to fall back into what we were, but I don’t want that. At the end, I was ready for more…and then the pregnancy happened. I had to get away, I had to heal from everything, and I just don’t see him wanting anything but sex from me. I don’t even think he does relationships. At least, he never said he did.
For the love of God, what am I doing?
This is an arrangement.
That’s it.
I can’t give any thought to an alternative. There is no way in hell he is doing this because he wants a relationship with me. Our history is too messy, and it’s easy because we’re friends.
Friends who haven’t talked in three years and now are “dating.”
Yeah, I didn’t think this through at all. After last night, with his jersey laid along the back of my chair, I feel like I’m the puck, ready to be shot. And Benson… Well, he’s known for scoring. I don’t know what this feeling means. Is it a warning? Will we become what Callie has projected?
That can’t be right, though. If he wanted me, why did I have to come to him? No, it has to be the money and the fact that he is a good guy. He wouldn’t turn down helping me, not after everything that happened. Just as I’d never turn down helping him. We don’t have to talk to know the other would help. It’s an unspoken promise.
I have to remember that.
I move my pen over the flowers as I gaze up at my pin board. Instead of on the wrapper around flowers he had waiting for me, I stuck his note on the board with the rest of my Post-its. While I have a lot already stuck to the board, they are all yellow since that color always attracts my eyes. Benson’s note is blue, so it stands out.
While I’ve tried to keep notes on my phone, seeing them on the board when I wake up really helps me to remember what I need to remember. I have an endless supply of Post-its, and my room bears the brunt of that. The notes go with the chaos of my room, and while I should be embarrassed, no one comes in here. Not even Callie.
Being a senior, I have my own room in the Bullies’ gymnastics house. It’s nice, especially since the only person I’d want to share with is Callie, but she lives with her hunky soon-to-be husband. I do share a bathroom with Shantae Miller, but we hardly speak. She keeps to herself, and I do the same. While she was there for me when I went to the clinic freshman year, I don’t think she can truly get past her judgment over my choice. That’s fine; I owe her nothing. It was my choice and one I’ve come to terms with. I will forever be grateful for her, though, how she stood beside me, holding an umbrella so the protestors couldn’t get to me. Even if she wanted to protest with them, she stood beside me. For that, she’ll always have a place in my heart.