Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 30218 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 151(@200wpm)___ 121(@250wpm)___ 101(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 30218 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 151(@200wpm)___ 121(@250wpm)___ 101(@300wpm)
I bit the inside of my cheek. He didn’t sound like he believed it any more than I did.
There was no chance I was forgetting any part of this night, and we both knew it. Even now, sitting across from him with silly coffee mugs, was more comforting than it should have been. I wanted to stay here. I liked being with him.
But there was also no chance that we could ever be a part of each other’s lives.
“Thank you again,” I said before downing the rest of my whiskey in one gulp.
“Whoa, there,” Casey said, eyeing my mug with a bit of concern as I put it down on the table. “Didn’t think we were racing to finish our drinks.”
“I need to get back. And after that drink, I’m calling a cab.”
“At least let me call one for you—”
“I’ll be fine, Casey,” I interjected. “I’ve been on my own for years, I think I can handle one night.”
The hurt in his eyes was visible, and I had put it there. His lashes were two dark rows, glancing down at the table, now.
“Right,” he said softly.
Now I had even more guilt piled on top of what was already there. It felt like there was a steady storm inside me, now threatening a downpour.
“Sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean it to sound quite so harsh.”
I reached out a hand and squeezed his shoulder. Finally, he smiled, even though there was still some amount of bittersweetness behind it.
“We had fun,” he said.
“We did.”
“Goodnight, Casey,” I said, grabbing my jacket and heading back out his front door. As I waited outside for my ride, I expected him to come follow me out. I didn’t know what I wanted. One more kiss? A goddamn hug? I shouldn’t have wanted him to come outside at all, and still some part of me wished for it like a drug.
But he didn’t come out. He was being polite, after all, and respecting what I’d said I’d wanted.
For the better.
My ride pulled up and I stepped in. Back to reality. Back to real life, before Casey had taken one night and made it a memory.
I had to forget about him.
“Well, would you look at that,” I said as I walked up to Justin a week later. “Traveling clearly has changed you. That haircut is killer, Jus.”
I said a little silent prayer of thanks for the fact that things instantly felt normal now that Justin was back in town. He didn’t have to know anything about what I’d done with Casey, and it would stay that way forever.
“Sure hope the haircut looks good,” Justin said, “because I paid big bucks for it when I was in Manhattan.”
Ever since high school, Justin had been a bit of a hippie. I’d thought it was funny, watching him go for the same style of clothes that I’d briefly been into as a kid. He’d always had a free wheeling style, and longish, shaggy hair. But since I’d last seen him, he’d gotten a fresh, cropped haircut, short on each side and a little longer on top.
It looked great, but Justin was my son, and I’d support any haircut he wanted, even if it was neon green spikes all over his head.
I came over and pulled him into a hug. “Good to see you.”
“Good to see you too, Dad.”
We were outside our favorite Christmas tree lot in Boulder. We’d been coming every year for Justin’s whole life, even back when I’d still been together with his mother.
“Well, you’re in town for a week, but we’re going to get you the best Christmas tree on this lot.”
“I’m ready to fight old ladies for it,” Justin said.
“Oh yes,” I told him. “I expect at least a few fistfights tonight. If we don’t get thrown out of this lot, we haven’t done our job.”
Justin laughed. “Let’s get in there. Oh, and Case just texted me and said he’ll be here in five.”
I froze. “Case?”
Justin nodded. “He texted from a red light. Said he just got down the mountain.”
I swallowed hard.
Holy shit. He had invited Casey tonight?
“I thought you said you might meet up with guys from your work here tonight.”
Justin glanced up at me, cocking his head to one side. “Nah,” he told me. “I guess I was telling you about Ollie and Zach from work, but Case is who I invited to pick out my Christmas tree. I’ve told you about Case before, plenty of times.”
“Right,” I said. “Right.”
“You’ll love him. Don’t worry.”
Something ricocheted around in my chest.
It had been a week since my night with Casey. I’d spent a few days thinking about it way more than I should have, usually at night before falling asleep. But by now, I had successfully convinced myself that I could put the memory of Casey into a box, and shelve it away in my mind.