Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
I touch a hand to my chest again. My heart is still pounding away, but I’m not trembling anymore. And I’m not going to cry. Every word I manage to get out without him arguing or shutting me down makes me a little stronger.
“I know it scares you to think of me being with a man like you. Somebody who does the kind of work you do. I know you want me to be with somebody else.”
The whole idea is so ridiculous, that I have to laugh. “But Dad, this is the world I grew up in. What did you expect? I love him. And I know what I’m doing.”
Do I? I’m not so sure right now, with Romero nothing but silent and Dad looking like he wishes I’d get out of the way so he can commit murder.
“I know you want things your way,” I tell him, “but your way isn’t always the best. And I know Romero would’ve fought to stay away from me because of you. He doesn’t want to disappoint you. But we couldn’t help it. Can’t you understand that?”
Dad blinks slowly, studying me like I’m some mystery he just discovered. Surprise, his daughter has needs and desires of her own. What a revelation. “You don’t have the first idea what you’re talking about.”
The old me would’ve chosen this moment as the perfect opportunity to scream my head off. Who could blame me if I did? I now know what it’s like to talk to a brick wall.
I’m not going to fall back on old habits. Not now, when I’m fighting for something that matters. “I know it would make things easier for you if that was true, but it isn’t. You can either accept that I’m a grown woman and can make my own choices, or we can fight like this for the rest of our lives. I don’t want that. Do you?”
“No. I don’t.”
But for some reason, he’s still furious. And he’s still glaring over my head at the man standing behind me.
“You,” he snarls at Romero. “You’re coming with me.”
“Dad!” Am I talking to myself? He didn't hear a word I said. Just like always. “How can you ignore me?”
“I’m not ignoring you.” He reaches around me to take hold of Romero’s shoulder. “I’ll deal with you later. Right now, I’m dealing with him.”
I grab desperately for Romero’s arm, but he shakes me off like I’m nothing. Just like Dad, he finds it easy to ignore me. Dad marches from the room, and as usual, Romero follows right behind him like a faithful employee. And all I can do is stand here, feeling small and useless and disregarded.
Bianca flies to my side and wraps her arms around me, as I cover my mouth to stifle a sob. “I’m so sorry. I am so sorry.”
It’s not her fault. I would tell her that if I wasn’t crying so hard. If it didn’t feel like my heart would burst out of my chest at any second. What’s left of it, anyway.
“It’s not enough,” I finally choke out. “I’m not enough.”
And I never will be. I might as well get used to the idea.
CHAPTER 39
ROMERO
It was always going to end like this, wasn’t it? No matter what I told myself, no matter how many happy little fantasies I tried to convince myself were true. None of it was real. In the end, he was always going to find out, and he was never going to accept us.
As I follow him down the hall, I know there’s no one but myself to blame. I might have driven a wedge between them, the kind of wedge that can’t be removed without doing damage. One more unforgivable act to sit on my conscience.
Once we reach his office, he slams the door hard enough to send a handful of framed pictures crashing to the floor. “You son of a bitch. You sick, lying, traitorous son of a bitch. My daughter. You would do that to my daughter?” He steps up close, his face inches from mine, and I smell the whiskey on his breath. It wasn’t twenty minutes ago that I watched him have that drink when he told me how much he wished I could stay here with him. How valuable I am. I knew it even then, didn’t I? I knew he wouldn’t find me so valuable when he knew what we’d been doing.
Now, I’m standing before him, bearing his rage. “I should blow your fucking brains out here and now,” he snarls, spit flying from his mouth and hitting my face. I accept it without flinching, standing tall and taking all of it, because it’s what I deserve.
Besides, there’s nothing he could scream at me that would be worse than what I’ve told myself. And years of facing down the father I knew had the power to end my life left me able to face this kind of thing without backing down. I have no doubt Callum could end my life where I stand, here in the middle of his office.