Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 121153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
“You did not know. How were you to ever believe my heart was still beating?”
“Because I should have checked somehow,” Mae spoke up. “I should never have assumed you had passed. I should have somehow got into that cell and tried to save you.”
“You cannot . . . ” I whispered. “You cannot blame any of this on yourself.” Heat and anger flooded my chest when I remembered Brother Gabriel, when I remembered that night.
“Bella,” Maddie said softly, and I looked into her big green eyes.
“It was all him,” I said through gritted teeth, shaking my head as I tried to banish the memory of that final meeting from my mind. But I could not.
“Tell us,” Mae pleaded. So I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes and took myself back to the days I vowed I would never relive again. Because it hurt too much.
But I would do it for my sisters.
We were back together, and everything had to be explained . . .
*****
I blinked into the darkness of Brother Gabriel’s room. My body felt like a dead weight. My cheek throbbed and my head pounded so much that I felt it all the way to my skull.
I tried to shift my legs, but had to stifle a choked moan. The pain in my head was nothing to the agony between my legs. I inhaled through my nose as I endeavored to breathe through the pain.
It was no use, the agony was too great. I slowly brought my arm down to my bare thighs. I fought back nausea when I felt warm liquid on my skin, at the apex of my thighs—blood.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. The salt from the droplets stung my cut skin, but I let the tears fall. I was tired. I was so, so tired. And not just of the pain that Brother Gabriel had brought me over the past few weeks. But of it all.
All because I had snapped.
For years I had been subjected to his torture. Daily Lord’s Sharings where he would take me in whichever way he chose. I was helpless to do anything.
The worst pain came when I would see my sisters beside me. All of us would be crouched down, heads to the floor, with our hands behind our backs. I would look into their eyes and try to give them silent comfort. But day by day, year by year, I saw their lights fading. I saw the life draining from their souls.
I was their older sister. They looked to me for help . . . yet I could do nothing. I had to endure the knowledge that we were trapped in this life.
The door opened and Brother Gabriel entered. But this time I did not freeze. He could do nothing more to me than had already been done. He could not hurt me anymore. I had no cries left to give. I had no energy left to hold on to.
Gabriel lived for my cries; my tears were his lifeblood. He lived to see his devil-cursed charge fall. And I had always fallen. As a child I had always cried as he pushed himself within me. I had screamed as I felt him tear through my innocence, helpless to move due to the trap between my legs.
I had always been submissive . . . until a few days ago. There was no real spark that caused me to strike out. There was nothing major that had happened to cause me to defy the prophet’s orders to serve Gabriel in any way he chose.
It was simply that I had had enough. Everyone would break at some point.
When Gabriel had called me to join with him, when he’d stripped me bare and rammed his fingers inside me, the nails tearing at my channel’s flesh, I had reached out and grabbed his wrist. I had acted on impulse and jerked out of his hold. I pushed him back and struck him across the face, dug my nails into the flesh of his cheeks. Then I had run. I had run for the door. But Gabriel had tackled me and delivered a strike of his own.
I had started a war.
His strength had overpowered me and he pinned my naked body to the floor. His large body crawled over me, and I saw the flicker of challenge in his eyes. “Jezebel . . . you seem to have lost your mind.”
“Get off me,” I hissed back.
Gabriel’s eyes widened in shock. I had never spoken to him that way before. I had never spoken to him at all. “There she is,” he said smugly . . . knowingly. “I always knew the devil inside would one day show its ugly head.” He leaned down and ran the tip of his nose along my cheek. “I knew one day this battle would come to pass. The sinful demon inside your heart would come to take back control.” He stilled, then slowly drew back his head. His eyes locked on mine. “And I welcome this fight, Jezebel. I will purify you of your sin.”