Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
“It makes me happy if Eddie and Dylan are happy.”
“Of course it does. But it’s not your responsibility to make them happy. Or it shouldn’t be. I want my brothers to be happy, but I don’t make career choices based on their happiness.”
She fiddles with the handle of her case. “It’s different. I’m all they have. They’re all I have.”
I want to scoop her up and tell her I’ll give her the bloody nest egg. I want to make everything all right for her. But I don’t want to railroad her into something she doesn’t want. She needs to pick for herself. So instead, I just say, “I’m sorry.” I can’t make her see that she has more than just her brother and sister who care for her. She needs to feel that.
She doesn’t respond, but I can tell there’s so much she’s not saying. “Anyway, I want to go and see Eddie. First she gets this mysterious scholarship. Now she wants to get a waitressing job. Something’s off.”
“What’s off about winning a scholarship? Doesn’t that make life easier?”
“Yes, but she didn’t seem to know much about it when I asked her. I just want to check it out. Especially now she’s got a job? It feels weird to me.”
“Maybe she’s growing up and wants to be independent. Maybe she doesn’t want you making career choices based on her. Maybe—”
“I just want to go see my sister. I’m going to miss the train if I don’t leave now.”
I nod. “But you’re coming back, right?”
She leans her head to the side like she doesn’t appreciate the question. A faint flush climbs her cheeks. “Of course I’m coming back. Tomorrow in fact.”
“We’re still going to miss you,” I say. I slip my hand around her waist and she leans into me.
“I’m only going to be gone one night,” she says, “but same. Too much.”
She’s going to miss us, too. It’s all the confirmation I need that I’ll talk her out of leaving. Somehow. I don’t want to lose her.
I press a kiss to the top of her head then release her. “Are you sure we can’t take you to the station?” I ask.
“Absolutely not! It’s way too much hassle and I can get a cab easily.”
“What train are you on tomorrow?”
“I’ll be back around eight.” She must see something in my gaze, because she adds, “I’m booked on a train that gets in at seven forty-seven.”
A knot of tension in my chest eases slightly. She’s booked a return. She’s not running away.
“Have fun,” I say. “Just think about what I said. You need to start putting yourself first.”
She forces a smile as if I’ve just asked her to do the impossible. But I know the only impossible thing is letting her go.
THIRTY
Eira
Sitting on Eddie’s bed in her dorm room, I stare at the two mugs she’s set on the desk. She’s stuck white labels on both of them and written “Stay” on one and “Russians” on the other. She’s making me write reasons to take the job from the Lebedev family and reasons to stay in the current job with Dax and Guinevere on strips of paper and put them in the corresponding mug.
But there’s a twist—there’s always a twist where Eddie’s concerned. The only things I’m allowed to write are reasons that directly impact me. I’m not allowed to mention her or Dylan.
In return, she has to answer my prying questions honestly.
“I really can’t think of anything else,” I say. “Maybe I need more pizza.” Truthfully, though I’ve only had one slice, the last thing I want is more pizza. My stomach lurches, not for the first time today. I’ve never experienced this much anxiety about leaving one of my charges for a short time, but I suppose Guinevere has been poorly. I tamp down the worry and focus on filling mugs.
“I wish I had some kind of equipment that could administer a mild electric shock,” Eddie says.
“To stop me from eating the pizza?” I ask.
“To incentivize you to think about yourself more.”
I groan. “Don’t you start.” I grab a slice of the vegetarian special. “Why does pizza always taste better with Coke?”
“A law of the universe. Just like why nannies always hook up with their single-dad bosses.”
Something tells me I should never have confessed to Eddie about me and Dax. It was the first thing she asked me when she met me from the station. I’ve been so discombobulated about it, I told her right away. She was thrilled of course. She doesn’t understand the complications it brings.
“The way I see it, these are not the choices I have,” I say. “Whatever happens, I’m not going to be able to work for Dax for much longer. He’s either going to get bored of me or…” My heart clenches at the thought of being dumped. I’ll be devastated. Dax is so much more than gorgeous. He’s got so much heart to go with that huge brain of his. He needs it coaxed out of him at times, but it’s getting easier.