Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 113464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 567(@200wpm)___ 454(@250wpm)___ 378(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 567(@200wpm)___ 454(@250wpm)___ 378(@300wpm)
I lift my glass along with everybody else, laughing a little, even if the unhappy thought of Callum is always close to the front of my mind. How he hates me, wants to hurt me, can’t stand the sight of me, and how I stupidly still want him.
“You make it sound like there was ever any doubt,” I joke, forcing a smile while trying to push thoughts of him aside.
I wasn’t sure at first whether I wanted to come out for Friday's happy hour. I was afraid of what would happen if I got home, and he was waiting for me, demanding to know where I went. But I’d already turned them down so many times.
Now I’m glad I said yes. I needed this. It’s like stepping out of a cave and into the sunshine. The warmth of the sun feels good on my skin.
Without the nagging feeling I’m being watched hanging over me, I can even enjoy myself while sitting in the same club where Lucas cheated on me. Well, where I found out about it. I doubt this is the only place where he fucked some random girl. I almost said no when I found out where we were heading but stopped myself at the last second.
That’s the past, and I need to think about the future. The weeks without Lucas have only reminded me how little there was between us in the end.
Stephanie, who sits on the other side of my cubicle and is always up for gossip, taps her martini glass against mine. “Now, I can tell you. The past two analysts who started before you left before the end of the first month.”
Blinking rapidly, I look around again, waiting for one of them to laugh. It must be a joke.
When nobody reacts except to share knowing expressions, I ask, “For real?”
Micah, who sits across from me, rolls his eyes and shrugs. “I guess they figured analyzing spreadsheets would be more exciting than it is.”
Josh bursts out into laughter. “Yeah, people only think they can handle the excitement before they get started with the job.”
Strange. I’ve been telling myself I need to get with it since everybody seems happy to be there and happy in their work. Like there must be something broken inside me if I can’t get with the program.
Now, the truth is coming out. I see it in the way they snort over their drinks.
If anything, their honesty eases some of the arguing I’ve done with myself. Telling myself I should be grateful, that if everybody else seems happy to work there, I should be happy, too. There’s nothing wrong with living a quiet life and having a steady job at a firm run by good people who care about their employees.
What does it matter if it still feels like something is missing? It’s not like my judgment has been great lately. I’m obsessing over a man who’s murdered people and threatened to do the same to me. Did I mention I’m also staying under his roof when I should stop at nothing to get away from him?
I’m probably having a midlife crisis twenty years too early.
“Hey, it’s you!”
It takes me a second to realize the bartender is talking to me, and then another second to realize what he means. The cute guy with the nice arms and dimples. To think I didn’t flirt with him because I had a boyfriend.
“Oh, yeah! Hi!”
“I didn’t recognize you at first,” he explains. “You’re not as dressed up.”
“You didn’t say you were a regular,” Stephanie teases while flashing a wide smile that tells me she wouldn’t turn him down if he started flirting with her. I wish I had that kind of confidence.
“I’m not, but I was here a while ago.” And he remembers me. I don’t know what to think about that. Tatum has always been the memorable one while I tagged along behind her. It’s different; people liking me for me.
“And he remembers you?” She purses her lips and looks me up and down like she doesn’t quite believe things were that innocent.
“We chatted once. No big deal.”
She glances his way, and I recognize the interest twinkling in her eyes. “So, there’s nothing going on between you?”
“If you want to flirt with the guy, go ahead. Shoot your shot.” It’s nice that she wants to be sure she’s not stepping on my toes. The fact is, I’m not interested in him.
Not when Callum exists. I don’t know what it says about me that I can’t help comparing every man in the world to him. He’s violent and terrifying, and he hates me. He still hasn’t spoken a word to me since that night. A month at my new job. A month without him.
Why can’t I move on? Hell, I’ve already moved on from Lucas, and we were together for five years. But I can’t shake Callum, and not only because I’m still living in Tatum’s part of the house. I can’t help but hope every single night that he’ll come to me and explain everything away.