Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Best first day ever. Okay … well, best beginning and end to the first day ever. The middle kind of sucked.
Let’s hope tomorrow is all smooth sailing.
Chapter Three
Blake
The first day of filming was shit. The second is not much better.
From only two days of working with Ben, I know he’s one of those directors I was warned about when I came from the music biz to acting. He treats everyone like shit, he doesn’t treat Jordan much better, and I have no idea what Jordan sees in him.
At one point, Ben threw up his hand and said, “I can’t deal with this. I’m an artist!”
But … he’s the director. He’s in charge. So every time he tells me to stop looking constipated or scared, I do my hardest to please him. Because I have to. It’s my job. I also don’t want to burn my bridges with directors. That’s how actors become unemployable.
Somehow, we manage to get through my scenes, and I’m sent on my merry way. I can’t get out of there fast enough.
Then I remember I’m crashing with Denver and Mason because we’re writing for the new Eleven album, and I can’t be bothered tonight.
Yesterday, they were out late doing an interview—something they’ve been doing a lot of since coming out—so they weren’t home when I got back and crashed out from pure mental exhaustion. Today won’t be much different.
I go to my trailer and message my driver to come pick me up, and by the time I’ve had a quick shower and changed my clothes, he’s outside waiting for me.
The drive to Malibu is long and silent, only giving me more time to dwell over how shitty my performance has been so far, and when I let myself into the house, I find Denver and Mason making out on the couch.
I try to sneak past them and not disturb them, but they pull apart when they hear me.
I wave my hand in the air. “Keep going. I’m just passing through.”
“Wait,” Denver says. “How is it? We didn’t get to ask you yesterday.”
I crash to the floor on my stomach. The answer calls for drama. “I hate you both. This is all your fault.”
“That bad?” Mason asks.
“The worst.”
“What’s the problem?” Denver’s scrunched brow in concern is all types of cute.
Denver’s the youngest of us Eleven guys, and he has this baby face where he looks barely twenty. We all kind of see him as the innocent little-brother type. Ironic when he’s the least innocent of us all with a drinking problem to boot.
“The director is a dick, and I suck.”
“You sucked the director’s dick?” Mason asks.
I flip him off. “My brain isn’t gay enough.”
Both of them burst out laughing.
Mason rubs his chin. “How exactly is one’s brain gay?”
“Damn it, Mason. I’m being serious. I haven’t lived as a gay or queer person, so it’s hard for me to get into their mindset, and it really showed. The script says I turn into this lust-filled, tongue-tied adorable mess, but apparently my attempts to look like I’m attracted to a man came across as scared.”
“Just to be clear, I’m not allowed to make a joke about you being scared of the D … right?”
I sigh at Mason. “Can you go back to being a depressed hermit?”
He only recently returned to Hollywood after disappearing for eighteen months. He was angry and bitter for a long time, and while I’m glad to see he’s back to his old, sarcastic self, I really wish it wasn’t at my expense.
“Okay, real talk,” Mason says. “You’re most likely overthinking it, and mix that with first-week jitters … I’m sure it will get better soon.”
I sit up. “How did you two handle being attracted to a man for the first time?”
They both look at each other and shift uncomfortably.
“That’s a hard question to answer,” Denver says. “I knew I had feelings for Mason for a long time, and when I acted on it … it, uh really didn’t go well, and I don’t think embarrassment is the kind of vibe you want your character to convey.”
“I guess not.”
“Maybe Ryder and Harley would be better at this kind of advice,” Mason says. “My feelings for Denver were always there but not obvious, and it took being away from him to start to see him differently. We don’t really have the experience to comment on instant attraction to a guy.”
“Thanks anyway.” I stand. “I’m going to bed early because tomorrow is another day.”
“I promise it will be better,” Mason says.
I go to bed, but while I lie there, I take out my phone and contemplate calling either Harley or Ryder. Then I realize it’s late, Ryder has a kid, and he probably won’t answer. Harley it is.
But as my finger hovers above his name, I realize I don’t exactly know what to ask anyway.