Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
“Lola tells me you enjoy photography,” Felix says after a pause.
His voice is tight, as if he’s annoyed he has to bother talking with me. But it’s preferable to the quiet, to being left with my clashing thoughts.
I’m starting to think I should’ve stayed in the bedroom, but it’s like his voice was calling to me, demanding I go out there, be with him.
“Yes,” I whisper. “Well, I guess I…I sort of dabble.”
It’s difficult to push the words out when I’m fighting my desires every single moment.
Images flit across my mind, not potential photographs but steamy and body-tingling images.
I imagine climbing onto his lap, sitting down as I grind up and down, feeling his manhood rub raw against my panties and my sex. Then, I’ll keep going until he’s groaning, snarling, and freaking animalistic with his need…the same way I am, every moment.
“She does more than dabble,” Lola says. “You should show him some of your stuff, Faye.”
This is one of the only times I’ve ever wanted to shout at Lola.
But it’s totally not her fault.
She has no clue how difficult it is for me to sit here, staring across the table at her dad, fighting every urge in my body.
It’s like there’s something buried deep inside of me, some force, or maybe it’s my core going into crazy baby-making mode.
I don’t know, and I can’t really afford to think about it, not if I want to keep what sanity I have left…and Felix is already doing a great job at taking all of that away, even if he doesn’t know it.
“Uh, sure,” I say, realizing I’m just sitting here like a weirdo. “Let me get my phone.”
As I walk into the bedroom, I imagine Felix is watching me.
I believe his eyes are drawn instantly to my ass, and he can’t help but stare and think about all the things he’d like to do to me. My sex gives a sizzling sensation at the thought, and my panties feel like they don’t freaking fit properly.
In the bedroom, I walk to the edge of the room, out of view. My shoulders slump, and I clench my fists, closing my eyes for a moment as I give myself a pep talk.
I need to calm down and get used to this. Felix is back now. I managed to survive for years with this crush. A brief moment when I turned eighteen had me wondering if maybe he’d take an interest now.
But no, nothing, and so I let it go.
And yet I can’t fight this feeling, like how he looked at me just then, when I emerged from the bedroom…it was somehow different. His eyes went wide for a moment, then he corrected it, seeming to set his jaw with even more grimness as though he was making up for the lapse.
This is all in my head, of course.
Returning to the living room, I swipe on my phone, going to my photograph album.
“It’s nothing special,” I say, walking toward Felix’s chair. “Just some nature shots. A few sunsets. Nothing special.”
I cringe when I hear myself repeat the phrase. Lola has her back turned as she chops something loudly on the board, clack-clack-clack, so at least she doesn’t hear how dorky I sound.
“I’m sure you’re being modest,” Felix says.
His words are nice enough, but his tone is downright intimidating, dark, and brooding somehow, and again I wonder if he’s pissed at me.
Maybe he wanted to reconnect with Lola alone. I’m getting in the way.
But it’s too late. I’m already handing him the phone.
When he takes the phone from me, our hands brush against one another.
I bite down as his warmth surges into me, going up my arm, coursing all around me. I feel my mouth fall open, then quickly clamp it shut. He feels so hot, physically burning up, making my body even more eager for him.
He clenches his jaw, looking down at the phone.
Did he notice the effect that had on me? Does it make him uncomfortable?
As I return to my seat – I can’t just sit there as he goes through my work – a thought occurs to me, one I never entertained before.
I should have, I see now, but I’ve always felt so invisible with Felix. His mind always seemed to be on his work, and even when he spoke to me, I never sensed he actually saw me.
But now I wonder, what if he was being distant because he sensed my inappropriate crush? And what if he sensed it just now, all over again?
I warn myself to calm down. I don’t know anything yet, so all I’m doing with this overthinking is freaking myself out.
“This work shows promise,” Felix says after a pause.
I gasp, looking over at him. His eyes are aimed at the phone, intense, fixed in place, and I find myself pathetically wishing that I was one of the photos.