Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
"I swear on my fucking life, Suzette..."
"No, no, I'll answer; just give me a minute, please." She unfolded herself, still rocking back and forth, only now she had her arms crossed over her chest.
"I really don't know what I was thinking; it's not a cop-out. I was confused, okay..."
"Why were you in the car with him?"
"I don't...he met me at the gym. No, we didn't plan to meet. I don't remember what he said he was doing there, something about his car, but either way, it was a chance meeting."
I just bet it was slick motherfucker.
"Anyway, we started driving. I was going to drop him off at his mechanic or something like that."
She furrowed her brow.
"Then he started talking about the movie and how well it had done, about my career and where it was going. Then somehow it turned to you and Justine, and I don't know, next thing I know, he was kissing me." She was trying to catch her breath at this point, but I didn't try to calm her. I needed her to finish; I needed to hear it all.
"I didn't want that. I swear it took me by surprise, but then I don't know, everything just got away from me, but he wasn't doing...what you said before. He wanted to, but I couldn't. Then I left the car and walked away, trying to get my bearings. I don't understand how the paparazzi knew where to find me. I never saw them at the gym. They must've followed me somehow, but I don't see how."
I didn't bother filling her in, yet she needed to finish her story first.
"Then I guess in the picture you're talking about; I went to that window to try to clear my head. I was already feeling the guilt, but I was nervous too, you know. I didn't know how to handle his advances."
How about kicking the motherfucking douche in the nuts? That would've worked. I would've much rather looked at pictures of that than of him rubbing his dick against your ass, an image that was now part of Hollywood's infamy. I didn't say that out loud because I knew she would just freak the fuck out again, but I wanted to. Let it go, Maddox, you promised, don't let your hothead get in the way of this. Just take a fucking breath.
"In the picture, it looks like you're laughing. It doesn't look like you're nervous or unsure of anything; it just looked like two people having a good time on the side of the street."
"Gage, please, I promise you I don't remember all that happened that day, but I promise you I was not there to cheat on you. Maybe for one moment, the thought of you with that Justine person made me have a lapse in judgment, but I promise you I never once wanted him. I could never want him. I love you. I'll always love only you; please, you've got to believe me."
And therein lies the heart of the matter. Could I believe her? Should I believe her? I'd already decided to give us a chance, so what real choice do I have? Fuck me over a barrel. This shit is whacked.
CHAPTER 29
I could see Gage's frustration and feel his anguish; it tore me up inside, knowing that this was my doing. I'd done this to him, to us. I selfishly wanted him to forgive me and go back to the way things were, as if none of this had happened. But was I being fair to him? Would I have been so quick to forgive him if the shoe were on the other foot?
I wanted so badly to hold onto him, but I loved him enough that if he needed me to, I would find the strength to let him go, although it would kill me to do it.
He said he wouldn't leave, but I was through being naive; there was a lot more at stake here. I had bruised his ego before the whole world and made him a laughing stock. How could I ask him to put that aside and take a chance on me?
The food his mother had brought sat on a tray untouched; I couldn't bring myself to eat though Gage had made me drink the herbal tea. Even now, he was still looking out for me.
Tiffany had come to the door earlier loaded down with shopping bags, which were now laid out across the bed.
For the last half hour, I had sat here in silence; Gage said we needed to take a break after my last episode. I wanted to be strong; I wanted to be the girl he fell in love with; I hated who I had become, what those pictures said about me.
I'd finally got up the courage to read some of my own press, and it was brutal. I don't think I could ever face the outside world again. I looked like a grade-A slut; some had gone so far as to call me that. It was deserved.