Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
“I know you always see the best in people, Charli. I love that about you. But holy shit, there’s a point where it just becomes masochistic. Like this guy is holding knives. He’s covered in blood. He’s grinning like a lunatic. And what are you doing? You’re walking up to him and turning your back.” She makes horror movie noises, some sounds I think are supposed to be the knife plunging in, and then she shrieks.
I shake my head. “Maybe real love only happens if you take real risks.”
“Oh come on, not the real love stuff again.”
“What?!” I say. I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. “Love isn’t supposed to be easy, right? It’s challenging and frustrating and sometimes you think it’s impossible. But in the end, it pays off for the people who fight for it.”
“Unless only one side is fighting.”
“Maybe I’m the side fighting right now, but maybe sometimes it takes an extraordinary effort to remind your partner why the relationship matters.”
I can tell Dani wants to counter with another round of arguments, but she lets out a breath instead. She’s trying to be a good sister and let me make my own decisions. In her mind, she’s probably thinking she’s letting me make my own mistakes, actually. Either way, I appreciate her for it.
“Just promise you’ll call as soon as you can, okay?” Dani says.
“Promise.”
I end the call and rest the phone on my chest, eyes still on the ceiling. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to find out if I’ve been wasting the last two years waiting for Vaughn to turn back into the man he was when we started dating.
2
CHARLI
Once per year, Landmark Press and Gray Wolfe Publishing host a meet and greet with authors from all over the world in Arizona. It’s a chance for aspiring authors to come and pitch their stories directly to agents, editors, and publishers. Year after year, this place is where people get an opportunity to jumpstart their careers and get their books seen.
I feel like I’ve finally made some kind of holy pilgrimage.
Last year, I begged Vaughn to bring me, but he said it would make him look bad. He’d seem like the literary agent with the writer girlfriend who was trying to abuse his position as the son of Landmark’s CEO. I was sad to miss my chance to go, but I understood his point. His dad was really hard on him since he started officially working for the company two years ago. He probably wouldn’t let Vaughn hear the end of it if he thought I was getting preferential treatment. I got it, so I stayed home. I ended up re-writing my novel in progress after that, anyway, so maybe it was for the best. I would’ve been pitching a doomed book if he let me come last year.
Even with all that, I still thought this year would be different. We had another year under our belts and that had to mean our feelings were getting stronger for each other. Sure, it didn’t always feel that way, but what were we doing if we weren’t growing as a couple? So maybe I hoped this year would be different more than I really believed it would. If he invited me here, all the little things that I’d noticed wouldn’t be such a big deal. The convention would be the shining beacon out-shining all the doubts and worries I had about us.
I asked him if I could come two weeks ago when he flew out early “to get a head start”. I didn’t even press him to know why he needed to come so early. I just asked if I could come.
I think his exact words were, “Not this again, Charli. Please, just drop it.”
So I did. Sort of.
I pull my laptop bag up on my shoulder, take a deep breath, and start wandering the convention center. I sort of imagined spotting him right away. I have the whole thing written up in my mind. He’ll see me, light up, and we’ll rush together in a big hug. Maybe he’ll even kiss me and I’ll do that dainty thing where I kick one leg up at the knee. Perhaps a giggle will even slip out of my lips, eyes squeezed shut in romantic bliss.
Sure, he isn’t big on public displays of affection and we’ve never had that kind of moment, but this is going to be our big moment. It’s going to be the time we both look back on as the point when we overcame all the obstacles and really leaned into our feelings for each other.
The first problem with my little fantasy is how huge this place is. There must be hundreds of rooms and thousands of people. It’ll be a real challenge just to find Vaughn, so I decide to enjoy myself while I look.