Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85224 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85224 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Alexei meets my gaze, and his eyes are red and bloodshot. Filled with grief. And I have so much regret. So much agony and want for this man. The damaged half to my soul. We are both so damaged, but together, we fit perfectly.
I’m crying, I realize. Looking up at him with our baby in his arms.
“I’m sorry I let you think…”
“Shh…” He comes to sit beside me, reaching for my hand. “You did the only thing you could. I was so foolish, my sweet. But it will never happen again. I will never doubt your loyalty again. I will spend the rest of my life proving myself worthy of your…”
His words die off, and he looks like he’s in pain.
“Of my love,” I assure him. “I still love you, Lyoshka.”
“And I, you,” he answers, cupping my face in his palm. “You are my sun.”
He kisses me, and everything else melts away. I don’t doubt his assurances. I know with certainty that he will never allow anything to come between us again. Even the present distance is too much, he tells me, as he comes to sit beside me in bed. Franco nestled in one arm, and me in the other.
He is our foundation.
And despite the intensity of emotion between us in this moment, nothing has ever felt more solid.
The moment is interrupted when Mack and Conor step back inside of the room. Conor looks terrified when he glances at Alexei while Mack looks like she wants to murder him.
Alexei hands me back the baby and kisses me on the cheek before standing up to greet them. When he moves in their direction, Conor takes a step back.
“I didn’t look at anything,” Conor proclaims. “I swear.”
Alexei extends his hand as a sign of respect. “Thank you, Conor. For being there when I could not. I owe you a great deal.”
Conor’s shoulders slump in relief and he smiles. Alexei smiles too. But Mack lays into him a second later.
“I don’t like you.” She pokes him in the chest. “You took advantage of her. You knocked her up. And then you hurt her. That wasn’t the deal we had.”
“I did do all of those things,” Alexei replies. “I was wrong.”
For the first time ever, Mack seems speechless.
“Damn right you were,” she huffs.
“But she is my wife,” Alexei tells her. “She is never leaving me again.”
Mack looks set to argue, but then her eyes find mine. And she sees that I have no protests. This is just Alexei’s way. This is his way of telling her that he is sorry. And that he will take care of me. So in the end, she chooses not to say anything, even though she really wants to.
And I am so grateful for her in this moment. For all that we have been through together, and that even after everything, she is still here for me. And I realize how much we have both grown up over the last two years. How much we have changed. I know that if we can get past all of that, then we can get past anything.
I also know the same is true for Alexei and I. He comes back to me and holds Franco for the remainder of their visit. He does not let anyone else hold our baby, except for Magda when she bursts into the room at the first available opportunity and doesn’t take no for an answer. She sings him lullabies. And Alexei and I watch, his hand always touching me. Anchoring himself to me.
The rest of the day is spent much the same. Viktor and some of the other Vory come to visit, bringing lavish gifts for Franco and myself.
By the time visiting hours are over, I am exhausted.
“Please don’t go anywhere,” I tell Alexei.
“I did not plan to,” he says.
He climbs into the bed beside me again, which is ridiculous considering his height, but he does not complain that his feet are hanging over the edge. Franco is cradled between us, and he simply strokes his face, his eyes moving between the two of us.
That is when I notice the tattoo on his hand. In the same space that I drew it before. My name, inside the sun.
I reach out to touch it, and Alexei takes my hand in his.
“You got it.”
His eyes are glassy again. Vulnerable with emotion. But he does not try to hide it.
“You are the only woman for me, my sweet,” he tells me. “Even in death, I could never let you go. You are it for me. And I am so sorry that I did not show you before.”
“I don’t want your apologies,” I answer. “I just want your trust.”
He expels a long breath and traces the lines of my face with his finger. “You have it. You have my word, I will not ever doubt you again.”