Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 109882 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109882 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
“I know,” he said, and a part of me wasn’t really shocked he knew that. Cameron pretty much knew everything.
“You knew?” I found myself asking.
The look he gave me was indifferent. “You think I didn’t know what you were doing, where you were, or if you were safe?”
I shifted, feeling the weight of his gaze on me, knowing he could read me with just a look.
“I knew, Sofia.”
I twisted my hands together, swallowing roughly. “I assumed you didn’t care.” This was really not how I’d seen this conversation going. For a second we didn’t speak, but everything seemed so loud, so intense.
“Why didn’t you say good-bye? Why didn’t you see me before I left?” I might as well lay it all out, because that was the whole reason I’d called him. “Did I mean nothing to you?” My voice was whisper soft, my emotions threatening to come forth. I wouldn’t let them though. I wouldn’t let them control me, wouldn’t let Cameron see them.
He looked away from me, out the window, and for long seconds stayed like that. I wanted to say something, anything, but my mouth was suddenly dry, and the words didn’t want to form.
“I wanted to see you,” he finally said, breaking that thick silence and making my ears ring with awareness. “But watching you leave was too hard. If I’d been there, seeing you get into that car, I’d have pulled you away and demanded you stay.” He looked at me then. My heart was beating so hard it hurt. “I wanted to keep you as mine, to have you close, care for you. But even a bastard like me knows my world is too toxic for you, Sofia.”
Even though his words held so much meaning, he kept his cool composure.
“You saw where I came from, where my life was,” I whispered.
He reached out, and for a second I thought he’d pull me close, say fuck it all, and tell me I was his. Instead he pushed a strand of my hair away, his finger brushing along my cheek, a shiver working its way through my body.
“All the materialistic things are easy to give you, Sofia. It’s the happily ever after I can’t offer.”
I shifted to face him fully. “I don’t want a happily ever after.” I shook my head. “I don’t want the fairy tale.”
“Tell me what it is you want, what I can give you.” He shifted slightly too, his big body facing me now. “Because mayhem and bloodshed rule my world.” He was the one to slowly shake his head now. “As much as I want you chained to my side, only mine, I can’t be a motherfucker and say that’s what’s right for you, safe for you.”
He held my gaze with his own, that focus speaking so loudly. Seconds ticked by, and I wanted to tell him so much more, explain how I felt, what he did to me.
“I want to keep you safe from my world…from me, Sofia.”
I reached out to him, not stopping myself, not able to help myself. “Don’t you see, it’s your world that I want? I need everything and anything that makes up Cameron Ashton. It’s your darkness that calls to me, that makes me feel alive, makes me yearn for more.”
I was crying now, and Cameron reached out to smooth his thumb over my cheek, collecting the tear. He brought it to his mouth and sucked the droplet off, focusing on me. Always on me.
“You make me cry because I’m happy.” I finally broke up the silence.
“I don’t think I’ve ever tasted your tears when you’ve been happy,” he said softly. He had, even if he didn’t realize it.
“You make me happy,” I said honestly, not about to deny how I felt anymore. I wasn’t going to lie, wasn’t going to hide. “And being without you and not feeling that passion, darkness…freedom, is not something I want to experience, Cameron.”
I braced myself for the rejection, because even if he did want me, he was a strong-willed man. But before I could say something else, maybe repeat how much he meant to me, how much I needed him in my life, he had me pulled onto his lap. His arms were around me, holding me painfully tight.
“You’re not afraid, not terrified of the man I am, the corruption I’ll smother you with?”
I rested my head on his shoulder, hearing his breath move along my ear, smelling the manly scent of him that surrounded me, and wanting nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.
“Would you have come for me?” I didn’t know if I wanted to know the answer.
He stroked my back, running his hands up and down, soothing me, making me feel whole.
“It was hard not making you stay with me, but for once in my life I tried to be the good guy. I tried to let you go free.” He pulled me back and looked into my face. “But honestly, yes, I would have.” He cupped the side of my face, the heat from his body like fire on my skin. “I would have crushed anyone and made a bridge out of their bodies just to get to you.”