Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 112951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
I tensed, but flashed him a grin. “Nothing.” I kept my tone light, though I knew he knew I was lying. “We really should dress, or we won’t get any studying done tonight.”
“Kennedy—”
I pulled away from him, standing with my clothes in hand. “Mind if I take a quick shower?” I didn’t wait. I hurried in, shut the door, and was under that water like my life depended on it. I took a pause then. What was going on with me? I’d dealt with assholes before. Why were they still with me? Still under my skin? And why was I running from Shay? I wouldn’t be sleeping with him if I thought he wanted to hurt me. I didn’t need to hold things back, but . . . no. I just needed a moment. The wall was down. That was what it was.
I was feeling everything.
I wasn’t protected.
One wrong word, one wrong look, and he had the power to hurt me. I was completely vulnerable.
I lingered in the shower, taking my time drying and dressing before I went back into the bedroom. The wall was back up and in place. I felt in control again.
Shay was at his desk, dressed in those sweats and shirt he’d worn when he opened the door downstairs. He lowered his pen. “Better?”
I nodded, feeling my throat swell. “Much.”
He wasn’t asking for specifics, but he knew I’d been affected. He just didn’t know from what. I sat on his bed and grabbed for my backpack.
He nodded, going back to his textbook.
I unzipped my bag. “It isn’t you.”
He looked back up. “What is it?”
“I . . .” I glanced down to my bag, though I wasn’t seeing it. “I, um, I don’t really know, but it isn’t you.”
“If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”
I looked back to him, saw the lack of judgment, the lack of expectation, the lack of impatience. He was there for me if I needed him, and that was it. It was the epitome of what every friendship should be. No demands. No pressure. Just there.
The bag fell from my hands, and I rose, going over to him.
He moved his chair back, and I lifted my leg, coming down on his lap to straddle him.
Maybe this was venturing too far into the territory of feelings, and being more than friends with benefits, but I didn’t care at that moment.
Shay’s hands went to my legs, and I dipped down to find his lips with mine. I sighed into them. We sat like that, kissing, him holding me, me just needing this touch from him until a long time later when he carried me back to the bed. Then he was back inside me, but a part of me could’ve spent the entire night like that, just kissing him.
A few hours later and my stomach was growling.
I was stretched out on the bed, fully clothed. Shay was at his desk again, and we hadn’t talked in the last hour. It felt wonderful. It was one of those silences where nothing needed to be spoken—just like being at home.
He looked up now. “Want to go out for something to eat?”
I checked my phone. It was around ten. “What’s open at this time of night?”
He named a local diner that was open twenty-four hours, and because of that, it was a popular studying hangout. I rolled to my side so I could see him better. “You sure you want to go there?”
He tapped his computer. “We’re classmates, and we have a project due. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
I shrugged. I’d hidden enough for the day. It was time to face the world, even if it was a local diner. I brought my feet around and sat up. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
It didn’t take either of us long. I toed on my shoes and had my stuff in my bag and then waited while he went to the bathroom. He put his stuff in his bag, grabbing his keys on the way out. I went first, his hand on the small of my back, until we got to the top of the stairs. His floor was relatively quiet, had been the other time, too, but I could hear male voices in the kitchen on the main floor.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do they know about me?” I didn’t know if his phone was off, but no one had bothered us all evening. I had a hard time imagining Shay could go a couple hours without someone emailing, calling, or knocking on his door.
“They knew I had a girl up there, but not that it’s you. Linde would be confused.”
That was what I was worried about.
Shay studied my face. “You still don’t want him to know?”
“I—” I hesitated, biting my lip. “I’m worried he’ll look at me differently.”
“I’d hope he would.”