Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95886 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95886 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“So he’s raring to go, then. You guys breaking up...probably inevitable, don’t you think? And for the best.”
“What do you mean?” A rather unsavory thought crept into his head. “Is that some sort of gender-based commentary?”
“Gender?” His dad turned to give him a wide-eyed stare.
“Don’t play innocent with me. I know you’ve had...thoughts on Rain being a guy.”
“Maybe at first.” His dad shrugged as they entered the park. He let the leash out further for a happy Cookie. In the distance, a group of kids was playing at the sprinkler pad. “Not gonna pretend he wasn’t something of a surprise. But you’re well past thirty now. Long past the age where I get a say in who you’re with.”
“Damn right.” Garrick had to work harder to keep up with his dad’s long strides.
“Now, do I think it’s a harder row to hoe, out here in the sticks, knocking boots with another man? Yeah. It is. But times change. People change. Look at Lincoln. Him and Jacob were in the store the other day, spending that gift certificate plus some. They seem happy enough. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. Happiness.”
Now that was a speech. One that made Garrick’s throat clog up and his eyes sting at how hard his old-school dad was trying. How much he’d changed from when Garrick was younger and seriously afraid that coming out as pansexual might tank their close relationship.
“Thanks. And Rain does make me happy. So happy.” Merely thinking about Rain and all the little things he did had Garrick sighing all over again.
“And that’s what I meant. It’s for the best. Distance never works, you know that.”
“Yup.” It wasn’t only his parents’ marriage that hadn’t been able to survive questions of long-distance love. His efforts with his ex-fiancée had all been for naught in that regard too.
“And staying...that’s its own can of worms. Happiness has a way of drying right up when someone is where they don’t want to be.”
“I know. And that’s what I told him.” The kids in the sprinkler were dancing around now, some sort of move that was in an ad or show he’d seen recently. Rain would know which one. Heck, Rain would probably join the kids in trying it. Damn. Garrick missed him so damn much already.
“See? You said your piece.” His dad’s tone was emphatic, and he was barely breathing hard at the brisk loop they were making around the park. “You asked him to stay. If he can’t, then it’s best to make your peace with him going.”
“Ah... I didn’t exactly ask him to stay. I knew better. More like I told him to go.” Fuck. Now he was going to second-guess this all day. Should he have asked Rain? Admitted how much he wanted him to stay at least? Fuck. He had no clue.
“That’s smart too. If you knew he’d say no, no point in putting yourself out there.”
“Maybe I was afraid he’d say yes.” Garrick had to admit the thought that had kept him up the past two nights.
“Ah. That’s the risk, isn’t it? Like I said, last thing you want is someone where they don’t truly want to be.”
“Yeah,” Garrick agreed weakly, slowing down his pace to let his brain catch up.
“I know it sucks right now, but this is the right move. He’s a city kid. We both know how that story ends.”
“Isn’t that the truth.” And there it was, the real answer to all his uncertainty. He knew it was only a matter of time before Rain moved on, whether Garrick asked him to stay or not. It wasn’t simply that that letting Rain go was the right thing morally, but it was also inevitable. Whether he fought against it tooth and nail or whether he accelerated the process, it was still going to happen. And if that made him a coward, so be it.
* * *
Banana bread. The craving had hit a little while ago, along with the idea that it might help this empty feeling inside him, and as Rain studied Grandma’s cupboards, he was willing to try damn near anything to get that hole inside him gone.
“Where’s the loaf pan?” Rain called out to Grandma, who was on the patio, bundles of fabric spread out on the picnic table, dye bottles at the ready, and dogs lounging in the sun.
“Hmm.” Her mouth quirked. “Your mother organized my cabinets while she was here. Put a bunch of things aside for donation.”
“Because of course she did.”
“Be nice. She means well. Check the boxes in the garage waiting for a trip to the donation place.”
In the crowded garage, he found a neatly labeled stack of boxes of random items. In addition to the loaf pan, he rescued his favorite of Grandma’s coffee mugs, an oversize one with a rainbow handle and cheery sunrise on it that he’d given her several years ago. It had been a dollar store find, true, but a cute one. And it was a silly thing to get sentimental over, but he was already in a rather emo mood.