I Could Never Read Online Penelope Ward

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Forbidden Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
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Carly: Gluten-free pumpkin loaf for you. ;-)

As I continued going up and down the aisles, Josh sent me another text.

Josh: Actually, I forgot to pack deodorant. Do you mind picking some up? I’ll reimburse you, of course.

Carly: Any particular kind?

Josh: Anything that’s made for a man.

Carly: Extra-spicy manwhore scent?

Josh: That works for me.

Carly: Nontoxic or…

Josh: Are you being serious?

Carly: Yes!

Josh: Toxic. I need it to actually work.

Carly: I use lemons instead of deodorant myself.

Josh: Are you shitting me?

Carly: No. I rub a wedge onto each pit daily.

Josh: That explains why you smell.

Carly: You’d better be joking.

Josh: Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not.

Carly: The lemons work and are completely safe. No aluminum to enter my lymphatic system and kill me twenty years from now.

Josh: All the shit there is to worry about in life and you’re concerned about deodorant? You should probably chill out.

Carly: This from someone who willingly sucks in carbon monoxide. I shouldn’t have even asked about the deodorant. It’s clear you don’t give a crap about your health.

Josh: I’ll take the toxic shit with extra aluminum, please.

Carly: Toxic deodorant for a toxic guy. Coming up!

Josh: Lemons for a tart. ;-)

Carly: Look at you, so quick on your toes. Why don’t you use them to head back to Chicago. LOL

Josh: Kidding. A tart is one thing you’re not, actually. A little sour, maybe…but definitely not a tart.

Carly: I’ll take your retraction as a compliment.

Josh: See? Even though you called me toxic, I took back tart. Who’s the mature one?

Carly: I’ll give you that.

Josh: Now you’ve got me wondering where else you’re sticking lemons.

I laughed as I reached for a masculine deodorant that was on sale.

Carly: Up your ass, Mathers. And there goes your mature card. By the way, I’ve got your toxic deodorant. I’ll be here another five minutes or so if you think of anything else.

The tiny dots moved around the screen.

Josh: Actually, can you pick up a carton of ice cream?

Carly: Please don’t say any kind. I’ll be here all day trying to choose something.

Josh: Pistachio

Carly: Hmm…

Josh: What?

Carly: That’s my favorite too.

Josh: Well, looks like we’ve just found the one thing we have in common besides Brad.

Carly: It’s gonna be a long week. Shall I pick up two cartons?

Josh: Yeah. And some alcohol.

CHAPTER 5

* * *

CARLY

LATER THAT AFTERNOON, I went back out to buy extra linens at the nearest Walmart, which was thirty minutes away.

When I returned to the house, I gasped at the sight before me.

Josh was at the kitchen table on a video call while Scottie sat on his lap. Josh had arched his neck to see past Scottie, whose nose was buried in his hair. Meanwhile, Josh had his earpiece in and was talking away as if he didn’t have a grown-ass man on his lap.

I wanted to snap a picture, but refrained.

As soon as Josh noticed me, I mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

The only reason I’d gone out again was because Lauren had still been here. I’d planned to make it back before she left but had gotten stuck in traffic.

He held his hand up as if to tell me it was okay.

Scottie hopped off of Josh’s lap and moved over to the couch. Josh ran his hand over his shirt to smooth out the wrinkles and kept on talking without missing a beat.

When he finally got off his call, I shook my head in amazement. “You handled that like a champ.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice. Luckily, I’d explained the deal to my colleagues before I came here, so most of them weren’t shocked when they saw him come on the screen. They found it pretty endearing. I turned my camera off right after he bombarded me, though.”

“You seem to have a calming effect on Scottie.”

He cracked a smile. “I might be his favorite, yeah.”

“It’s definitely not me.” I sighed. “Anyway, are you done for the day?”

He took his earpiece out and closed his laptop. “Yep.”

“Nice.”

He looked down at the bag I was holding. “You get everything you need?”

“Yeah. Some towels, a replacement pillow for Scottie, a bigger blanket for you, and an extra set of sheets. I’m sorry it took so long.” I looked around the kitchen, feeling discombobulated. “I have to make his chicken before dinnertime. I know I’m gonna mess it up.”

Josh ran his hand through his hair. “Why?”

I put down the bag and grabbed the written recipe Lorraine had left me. “Look at these instructions. The chicken has to be pounded down just right, the oil has to be a certain brand—which thankfully we have in the cupboard because I forgot to buy it earlier—and you have to be careful of the egg-to-flour ratio.” I slapped the paper down on the counter. “Otherwise, he won’t eat it.”

“Piece of cake.” Josh rolled up his sleeves. “I can help you.”

“Seriously? Do you cook?”


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