Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
My heart rate spiked. Was it really that obvious that something was different about me? That somehow, in my submission to Kieran, I felt more complete, more comfortable in my skin…more confident. It was hard to imagine someone could see all that, hard to believe I could change so much, but I knew he was right. I felt it to the marrow of my bones. Still, I said, “That’s a lot to decipher in someone you don’t know very well.”
He chuckled then. “Point proven. You wouldn’t have said that to me two months ago. He’s a lucky man.”
For one brief moment, I almost told him to be quiet, fearing that someone had heard him, but did it really matter? I had a feeling everyone in the firm knew I was gay; it wasn’t like I was hiding it. Phil had seen it. And if they didn’t know, why should I care if they did?
“It’s not serious,” I told Phil even though, to me, it was. To me, Kieran was everything. I knew he didn’t want anything serious though. No real love or feelings. He wanted a boy to fuck, take care of, and torture in the most delicious of ways and he’d found that in me.
“That’s what we always tell ourselves,” Phil replied on a chuckle. “But hey, if you want to go out for a drink sometime—just as friends, of course, let me know. I’m always available.” With another smile, Phil was gone.
I thought about how I’d told Kieran I wanted to talk with Marco. It was true that I wanted to have someone to talk to about the kind of relationship I was now in, but there was more to it than that. I wanted friends. For the first time in my life, I wanted to open myself up to other people. I wanted to let them in because I could do that. I was strong enough to protect myself. I wasn’t that boy I used to be. Maybe I would have a drink with Phil sometime. There was no reason I couldn’t or shouldn’t.
I finished putting my things into my briefcase and then walked to the elevator. One of the partners stepped inside with me as I did.
“Do you have any plans this weekend?” he asked, making conversation.
I paused for a moment, thought about what Phil had said, how I’d felt, and then answered, “I’ll be with my…” What did I call Kieran? He wasn’t my boyfriend but I could hardly say my Daddy or my Dominant, so what choice did I have? “My boyfriend,” I continued. “I’m not sure what we have planned.”
He smiled and told me to have a good weekend. I watched his eyes, looking for a reaction but there was none.
But to me, it was everything.
I went to Kieran’s after work. He was in his room and told me to come in there with him.
I walked in and he wore a pair of slacks and a white shirt he was buttoning up.
“Shower quickly, please, and then get dressed. Your clothes are on the bed.”
I glanced over to see another pair of black slacks, a white shirt, and a bowtie. My brows pulled together. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“To dinner with Marco and his Master, Joseph, and then to the theatre.”
I knew my eyes widened and I felt my knees weaken. It was a silly reaction, an overreaction. I was a grown man. I could have gone to the theatre any time in my life, I just never had. Maybe because it would have been too painful to do by myself, or maybe because I’d forgotten it used to be important to me. But it had been important, Kieran knew that and he’d arranged this for me.
This entire evening—Marco and his Dom. The theatre. It was all for me.
“I…” I started but couldn’t finish. I didn’t know what to say. There had never been anyone in my life who did the things for me that Kieran did. There had never been anyone who cared that much. I thought about the things Kieran had done for me, the way he’d made me feel. I thought about what Phil said and what he saw when he looked at me and what I’d said in the elevator.
I love him, I realized. It wasn’t that I was starting to fall in love, I was there. Kieran filled an empty space, a vast open emptiness in my soul that I’d lived with all my life. He was stitching me together and making me whole. Changing me.
“Shh,” he said as he came toward me. “Don’t speak. You don’t need to thank me. You’ve been very good and you deserve a reward. Now, go get dressed as Daddy says, or we’ll be late and I’ll have to spank that pretty ass of yours.”