Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 61851 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61851 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
She visibly swallowed. “A fling. A hookup. An affair. Whatever you want to call it.”
Oh, fuck.
This he hadn’t seen coming. The fact that she was reducing what they’d shared down to something insignificant.
He hadn’t asked her for a commitment because he’d thought pressure would scare her off. She had serious insecurities when it came to men and a deep-rooted fear of not being good enough. He’d thought he’d take time to build and solidify their relationship. To show her what she meant to him, how serious he was about her, before taking that next step. And he’d wanted to talk to her brother and promise him he would put Jessica’s happiness first. Always. Since Ben hadn’t decked him after that first conversation, Derek had waited because Jessica had her new lingerie launch coming up and he’d wanted her to be able to focus.
Then, he’d planned to reveal his feelings.
Now, he realized the error of that decision. His fingers gripped the edge of the desk. “What about our . . . fling?” he forced himself to ask, knowing he had to listen without jumping to conclusions.
She lifted her chin as she faced him. “I want more. I deserve more. From you.”
“Yes, you do.” He let out a relieved breath, wanting nothing more than to spank her for scaring him so damned badly. “I want more, too.”
Her eyes flashed with relief of her own. “I love you,” she blurted out in a rush. “I thought it was years of infatuation because of my teenage crush on you, but being with you now . . . I know it’s always been love. And I know you care about me, too.”
He did. Oh, God, he did, and he’d never deny the truth. He straightened, prepared to put his own feelings out in the open. “Jessica, I—”
She put up a hand to stop him, shaking her head, her eyes still showing her turbulent emotions and vulnerabilities he hadn’t yet been able to conquer.
“Let me finish,” she said, her voice raspy. “I do love you . . . but sometimes love isn’t enough, and I know you want a different future than what I might be able to give you.”
He frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
She exhaled a deep breath, her expression pained. “Family . . . kids . . .”
“And?” He was missing something huge and he didn’t understand.
She shot him an exasperated look. “I told you, but it probably didn’t compute because we weren’t serious at the time, but my PCOS? I can’t promise that you’d ever have a biological child with me.”
He blinked at her in shock, surprised she’d even think this would be an issue for him. “Jessica, I want you. I’m not asking you to have kids.”
“Right now, no, you aren’t,” she agreed. “But in the future, it could be a deal breaker for you, and I’d rather know now than have my heart broken worse later on.”
He exhaled a long breath, finally understanding all her years of insecurities and fears. Yet despite them, she was putting her heart in his hands and he knew what he had to do.
Needing to touch her, he closed the distance between them and reached for her wringing fingers, separating them and holding her hands in his. “Jessica, look at me.”
She lifted her head, hope and doubt clashing in her eyes.
“Here’s a few things you need to know,” he said, his tone gruff and serious. “One, I’m in this for the long haul. I’m as serious as it gets about you. Like, I’m all in.” He tightened his hold on her hands. “And second, you are enough for me, sweetheart. I don’t give a damn about anything else. Just you, and me, together, wherever we decide this ends up. And third and most importantly, if we decide we want kids and you can’t get pregnant, there are other ways to create a family. As long as we decide together, we will be fine. A biological child is not deal breaker for me.”
She bit her bottom lip, her beautiful eyes filling with tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but he wasn’t done.
“You and I haven’t been dating long, but you know me and who I am,” he insisted. “What you see is what you get . . . and I hope what you see is a man who is crazy about you. Who adores every perfect part of you. Your smile, your creativity, your determination, and your ability to face adversity. But you don’t have to face any hardships alone, because I’m right here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
A tear slipped free, and he gently wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, touching her as if she were the most precious thing in his life, because she was.
“I love you,” he said, needing her to hear the words, which seemed to cause another rush of moisture to fill her eyes. “Those better be tears of happiness,” he said, causing her to nod and laugh. “Good. And just so you know, I’m so fucking glad you bought me at the bachelor auction, because I’d probably spend the rest of my life trying to find a woman exactly like you. And there is only one you, Jessica, and you’re mine.”