Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
I argued. “What if someone sees both of our tattoos and puts two and two together. That won’t be good, Kage. It wouldn’t be too hard to figure out that two guys have the same tattoo in the same place, and oh look, they’re each other’s initials. Boom, we’re busted.”
“I don’t care,” he said.
“There you go, doing that reckless thing again. I thought we had settled this. That you are not going to come out and jeopardize your career, no matter how tempting it may be.”
“Come here,” he said, crooking his finger at me from the tattoo chair.
I walked right up next to him and looked around, making sure no one was looking. Then he snatched me down and kissed me. “I hate hiding. I’m proud of you, okay? You’re so fucking hot. I want the whole world to know you’re with me.”
So I got a tattoo, because how could I say no to that? Kage got JA, and I got MK, and we both got them on the sensitive underside of our forearms.
“Don’t you want to hide them, like below our waistbands or something?”
“No, Jamie. Then you can’t see it while I’m fighting. I want you to be able to see. When I land a hard right to someone’s face, it’s got your name on it.”
Again, how could I say no to that?
The week leading up to my departure was hell. Kage noticed my appetite diminishing, and he started personally making sure I got enough calories. “Don’t do this when you go back to school, okay? Don’t torture yourself. It’s just a year, and we’ll see each other plenty. Do you trust me?”
I nodded, but it was an empty gesture. The truth was, I still didn’t know if I trusted Kage. Trusted him to what? Not sleep with other people? Not visit enough? Not forget about me? Hell, I couldn’t say whether I trusted him. I didn’t even know if I trusted myself. All I knew is that leaving hurt like hell.
Kage had two more nightmares that week. One of them was especially terrifying, because it took me ten minutes to wake him up. I was just about to call his therapist, when he suddenly snapped out of it. There were tears in his eyes, and he was clinging tightly to me and crying no, no, no.
In the last twenty-four hours before my plane left, Kage and I made love six times. By the time we wound up the last one in the wee hours, we were both exhausted and empty. I didn’t think I’d be able to come again for a week. And forget about touching my ass. I was considering buying a donut pillow at the drugstore, but I knew I wouldn’t. As always, pain was part of our relationship, and I cherished the physical pain, the way it reminded me. It was the emotional pain I couldn’t stand.
Apparently, Kage felt the same way. He was gone when I woke up. He had arranged for Aldo and Aaron to drive me to the airport, but about an hour before it was time to go, Dr. Tanner stopped by Kage’s apartment.
“Jamie, I’m so glad I was able to catch you before you left. It’s been so difficult to catch you when Kage isn’t around.”
I gave her a puzzled look. “When he’s not around?”
“Well,” she began. “I’ve been worried about him, and I wanted to talk to you about it.”
“I don’t know how much help I can offer you.”
“I’ve been reluctant to say anything about this, because I know he’s happy lately. But there’s a problem I think you need to know about. I need to ask you some questions.”
“I don’t know how well I can answer them, but I’ll do my best.”
“Alright, I know you have a plane to catch, so I’ll get right to the point. Has Kage been acting different lately? Any personality changes? Has he been doing things that seem out of character for him?”
I nodded. “Actually, I guess he has. He’s been… I really shouldn’t be telling his business. Maybe I should talk to him first.”
“I’m his therapist, Jamie. I’ve been treating him for a very long time, ever since he was a young boy. I know you don’t want to betray his trust, but if there’s any way you can help me by answering questions… I don’t need specifics, but I do need something to go on. I need you to help me help him. Can you do that?”
“Well, I suppose it’s not a breach of trust to give you general information. I just can’t give you any details.”
“That’s fine, Jamie. Just fine. We’re both here to help Kage, not to hurt him or jeopardize his career.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. “He’s been having bad dreams. Like really bad. He’ll wake up in the middle of the night sweating and crying, and he’s saying scary things. Begging someone to stop doing something to him, I think”