Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 57043 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 285(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57043 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 285(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
“It’s not your fault,” I tell her, brushing the hair from her face. The bed creaks as I lay down next to her. She makes room under the covers for me.
“I mean...she kept going back to him. Every time she'd leave, he would convince her to come back, and she always said that she was doing it for me.” I hold her closer, and she presses herself against me, letting me hold her, my front to her back.
I wish I knew how much she was hurting.
“That doesn't mean it was your fault. It means she loves you, and she didn't have any better options. Or she thought she didn't.”
“It feels like my fault sometimes,” Renee says, just above a whisper. “Feels like she could have had a better life if I had just...convinced her that I'd be okay, maybe.”
“It's not your fault,” I promise her. “I have to tell you something.” My heart pounds with worry.
“What?”
“My parents drove down today.” I don’t tell her it’s because I messaged my dad. I don’t tell her more than I need to, just for the moment.
She stiffens slightly but then relaxes. “If you have to go, that’s okay.”
“Kind of the opposite of that,” I manage. “I know it's not Christmas, but they'd love to meet you.”
“I don’t know that right now—”
“I told my dad. He’s a cop, Renee. He can help.” She goes still, staring straight ahead. “They…want to help.” I spit it out, even though I know she might not like it. “They just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“What did you tell them?” she asks, still beside me.
“That I needed help and that I love you.”
The bed groans as she looks over her shoulder at me. Her eyes meet mine and a mix of emotions stare back at me. “I told them I love you,” I repeat.
Renee wrinkles her nose attempting to make things lighter when the topic is so fucking heavy. “Did you tell them I’m a wreck?”
“You're not a wreck,” I whisper back and kiss her. When I pull back her eyes are still closed so I kiss her again.
“Just tell me you love me,” I tell her.
“I love you.” Her eyes still closed.
“Now tell me you’ll let me handle this,” I say, and she opens her eyes then.
I can practically hear her heart pounding.
“Actually”—I smooth her hair back—“you don’t have to say that, and you don’t have to do anything.”
“Griffin?” she says.
“Yeah?”
“I’m scared.”
“You can be scared, but you don’t have to be. I’m here. I’ve got you.” I promise her. And I mean it.
I fucking love this woman. I love her so damn much.
And she loves me. That’s all that matters right now. Everything else, time will heal.
Epilogue
Renee
One Year Later
* * *
I’ll never forget what Griffin said when I asked: Why did you have to find me when I was falling apart?
After all this time, I keep going back to that very moment when it felt like everything was coming undone and I looked at him in that backroom and all I wanted was for him to kiss me. Like that would make it all better. And…in a way, it did. I wish I wasn’t at my lowest. For so long I thought, if only I’d went for it sooner and kissed him first when life wasn’t so rough with my family. But that’s not how life works.
He said, “Maybe fate knew I was supposed to be there to catch you.”
Last December lit my world on fire. It burned so much to the ground, but it brought light to so much more. The best of it all is that I fell for Griffin hard and fast, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
"Can you believe it?" My aunt says, interrupting my thoughts. "This is the second year in a row we're having a white Christmas.” Her tone is upbeat and I’m starting to get used to that sound.
It's Christmas at Griffin's parents' house, and of course everyone's talking about the weather. In this town snow is just as uncommon as in Beaufort, and nobody can believe what good luck we're having. Snow on the ground at Christmas. I've heard multiple people say they hired photographers to get pictures out in the snow with their whole family wearing matching sweaters and hats. It makes me smile just to think about it. Sheer joy at the simple things.
"What are we missing?" Griffin's dad says. He stands at the head of the table, looking over all the food. "Oh! Potatoes."
"Did Mom make both kinds?" Griffin questions, his expression serious, which only makes his dad laugh harder.
His mom makes a face at him. "Of course I did. I made all of your favorites."
Within two minutes, the potatoes are out on the table, and the dishes clack as we pass them around to each other in the grand dining room at Griffin's parents' house. His mom laughed when she showed my mom and aunt around when they arrived for Christmas. It's too big for the two of us, but now we have an excuse to use it again! I’ve been here more times than I can count. Griffin is close to his family and I love it. I love being a part of his family and I love that he’s a part of mine.