Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 72931 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72931 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
My stomach rebels against the smell. Pot roast. Rich and overpowering. Shakily, I grab for the buttered roll instead. Slowly, I tear off pieces and eat the bread. It helps the sick feeling go away and soon hunger takes over. I end up eating the entire plate of food much to my surprise. After drinking most of the Coke, I become so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.
He stands and I start to panic.
“Please don’t leave me, Daddy.”
His features grow soft. “Not going anywhere. Just going to run this downstairs. I’ll be back.”
But I don’t want him to go. If he goes downstairs, they might try to talk some sense into him. The last thing I need is Koyn finding his right mind again.
“Please,” I beg, choking back a sob. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
“I’m coming back.” He gestures to the bed. “Get under the covers.”
Those five minutes are the longest, but he returns, still rippling with protective fatherly instincts. He changes into some sweats and a T-shirt before crawling into bed beside me. His body warms mine as he curls his large frame around me. It only takes a few whispered words and kisses to my temple before I fall fast asleep.
No!
I scream and fight to no avail. I thought I could block him out, but I can’t. He’s here. Stretching and filling me. Tainting me. I hate him. I hate my father.
The sobs die and I start convulsing with shivers.
This life is too hard.
I don’t want this one anymore. I want a new one.
I wake with a start, shudders from my nightmare still tremoring through me. Koyn hugs me to him and nuzzles my hair.
“I have you now.” His words are whispered and sleepy but reassuring. I shouldn’t be comforted by this man considering what he’s done and what he’s capable of. I must be fucked in the head too, though, because I am. I find comfort in him much like he finds comfort in me when he sees me like his Blaire.
It’s on my tongue to tell him I’m not like Dad and Magna. That I’m different. That I can be good—good for him. Admitting what Magna did is one thing. But my father… It’s incest. I can barely stomach the idea of it, much less vomiting the words as some sort of confession that might absolve me from this monster corner he’s painted all three of us in.
Would that disgust him?
Would he feel sorry for me?
Would he know how fucked up that shit makes me?
I snuggle against his chest, clinging to his T-shirt. He strokes his fingers along my arm in a comforting way. If I could just freeze time and stay in this moment, I would. Ever since Mom died, life has felt especially hard. For once, I just want it to be easy.
My mind drifts back to the days when my family was normal and Dad didn’t do the horrible things he did. Back then, I was like any sassy teenager with a shopping addiction. While my friends crushed on boys from our school, my heart was dead set on marrying Junior one day. Before he was Milk and his father’s little bitch.
It feels like a lifetime ago. What would I even be doing if my life were normal? Probably be applying to colleges. Dad wanted me to go to school to learn computers so he could pass down his company to me, but deep down I had no interest, even before he ruined me so badly.
I always thought it’d be fun to do interior design or design clothing. Something fun and creative. Something so far on the opposite end of the spectrum of what Dad did it’s not even funny.
Now I’m just fighting to survive.
Hopes and dreams seem silly when you wonder if someone’s going to beat or fuck you because they can.
God, I just want some fucking peace.
As though attuned into my thoughts, Koyn hugs me tighter. His comforting embrace makes me relax. I drift back to sleep, desperately seeking the peace I’m after.
In his arms, in the dark, I find what I’m looking for.
He’s not here.
He’s not here.
He’s not here.
Panic claws its way up my esophagus as realization sets in. I can hear raised male voices somewhere within the house. If he’s with them, will they convince him I’m the enemy?
Bile burns the back of my throat and I stumble out of the bed, rushing to the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before I’m heaving up everything I ate last night. It’s bitter and disgusting, but the moment it’s gone, I feel better. I’m just flushing the toilet when I feel a presence behind me. I whirl around to face Koyn.
But it’s not Koyn.
“Oh, honey,” Stormy says, her eyes watering as she regards me. “What did he do to you?”