Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 111359 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111359 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Although that shouldn’t be a problem, since she was done with men.
“You’re not going to do that.”
“I will.” She worked on pulling her shields together.
He shrugged. “All right, darlin’. I can’t stop you. But that means that Jake will be doing a welfare check on you. And if he thinks you need it, he’ll move you in with him and Molly. Or in with Melody and Brye. That what you want?”
God, no.
She couldn’t do that.
Shit.
“You’re better with me. I might be bossy. But I only want to make sure that you’re all right.”
“You don’t . . . you don’t really like me. This is just . . . it’s the chase. You think I’m a damsel in distress and you have a hero complex.”
She made sure to keep her voice cold and emotionless.
Even if, on the inside, she was losing her mind.
Old-Hannah wanted to take the words back because she knew that he’d leave now, and she’d never have an opportunity like this again.
Sure enough, anger filled his face. Raid was an easygoing guy most of the time. But he had a temper. And it usually came out when someone he cared about was threatened.
Or, apparently, when you told him that he had a hero complex.
“Excuse me?” He stepped forward. And even though she’d braced herself, she couldn’t help but flinch back.
Her head banged into the wall behind her. The pain wasn’t that bad, but it was enough to make her whimper as she closed her eyes.
“Fuck. Fuck!”
She opened her eyes to find him pacing the room, his head down, his shoulders slumped.
He looked dejected.
Oh God. Is this what she was doing to him? She was making him feel sad and disheartened. Lord . . . she was destroying him.
This right here was another reason to keep pushing him away.
But she just couldn’t do it. What the hell was wrong with her?
Tears dripped down her face. “I’m sorry. Raid, I’m so sorry. I’m so very s-sorry.” Trembles rocked her slight body as she sat there, hugging herself, trying to calm herself down.
She struggled to breathe as she lost it.
Then, suddenly, she was in his arms. And she didn’t have the energy to fight him. Or to fear him.
He gathered her against him. Holding her so tight that it made it harder to breathe. But she needed that.
She felt like she was falling apart, and needed him to hold her together.
He moved with her, and she ended up in his lap on the floor. But she didn’t care. More. She needed more.
“Tighter,” she urged. “Hold me tighter.”
“Baby,” he whispered.
“Please hold me tighter. I’m going to lose it if you don’t.”
“Maybe you should let it all go, baby. Just let it all out.”
A sob broke free. Then another one. Tears fell down her cheeks as she shuddered in his hold.
“I can’t . . . I can’t . . .”
“You can,” he told her. “You can let go because I’m here, Hannah. And you know I’m going to keep you safe. Can you feel how strong I am? I have you surrounded. I’m not letting go. I’m not letting you push me away. I’m here.”
“You shouldn’t be! You should just let me go.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not worth it!” The words slammed through the room, bringing instant silence. “I’m not worth it, Raid. You deserve better than me. You deserve beauty and sweetness and sunshine. I’m not any of those things anymore. Before . . . before all of this, then we might have worked. But not now. I’m . . . I’m dirty.”
“Fuck. Fuck!” She jumped and he then hushed her gently. “Shh. Shh. Shh. You don’t need to fear me. I’m sorry. I know I need to control it. But, fuck, baby girl, don’t ever fear me. Okay? I’m not him. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She didn’t even try to deny what had happened. It would be pointless. It was obvious she was a mess. And that Steven had something to do with that.
Even if Raid didn’t know the details, he had the big picture in his mind.
“I k-know you’re not. But I c-can’t help it.”
He rocked her back and forth. “Let it out. Let the poison out. Give it to me.”
“I can’t!”
“Baby,” his voice broke.
“I just can’t. I don’t want you to have it. It’s mine. It’s my cross to bear.” She pressed her face into that spot where his neck and shoulder met.
He was so warm. So strong.
And yeah, she felt safe in his arms. She felt safe for the first time in months.
“I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear to you earlier that I want you,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize until it was too late, and by the time I was ready to ask you out, you were already seeing him.”
She jolted at that information. “What?”
“After I got back from New Orleans, I came into town to find you. Wanted to ask you on a date. But Brye told me that you’d met someone.”