Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“What?” I ask in disbelief, but my words come out so softly I barely hear them.
“I had a placental abruption about a week before Lilly’s due date. They had to take her by emergency C-section. When they couldn’t get the bleeding under control, they had to do a hysterectomy to save my life.”
I’m going to hurl. Vomit my guts up right here on her bed. My hand slides out of my pocket, the condom seeming like the worst idea I’ve ever had.
“I don’t understand what that means.” My hand curls into a fist and I want to slam it into a wall. “You told my mom you went into labor when you were in class.”
“No, I didn’t say I went into labor. She asked how the delivery was and I said it was fine. But I was in class when I started bleeding, so that started everything…”
“I don’t understand. What’s a placental abruption? Why does it happen?”
“No clue why it happens,” she says as she picks at the hem of her frayed shorts. “But it’s where the placenta detaches from the uterine lining. This disrupts the flow of oxygen to the baby. It’s very dangerous. Luckily, an ambulance got me to the nearby hospital and they were able to get Lilly out in time. She’s perfectly fine, if you’re worried about that. She was close enough to the due date that her lungs were developed well enough.”
I shake my head hard, opening my fist and closing it again. “I know Lilly’s fine. I just…I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that. I mean, fuck…you went through all that by yourself?”
Another shrug as she lifts her gaze to me. “Why would I tell you? It has nothing to do with you.”
That shouldn’t hurt, but it does. She’s right. It’s none of my business, but damn it, it should have been my business.
And fuck.
Just fuck.
She had a hysterectomy. She can’t have any more children. Lilly is it for her unless she adopts, and she can’t ever get pregnant again by me.
I shake my head hard and push up off the bed so fast Gracen lets out a little gasp. Why in the fuck I’m even thinking about getting her pregnant is beyond me, but I need to shut that shit down fast.
Taking a breath, I wipe my hand over my face. Gracen looks at me guardedly.
I have no clue what to fucking say. I feel wretched that Gracen went through that, and that she did so alone. For perhaps the first time, I feel true guilt for breaking up with her and for the way in which I did it. For telling her that I wanted my freedom and didn’t want the responsibility. I created a situation where Gracen had to face that pregnancy alone, and she and Lilly almost died from it.
“I’m sorry,” I manage to croak out. “I’m sorry you went through that alone and that you can’t have any more kids.”
Gracen’s expression softens and she looks at me with empathy.
At me with empathy.
Me.
Fuck. I don’t need that to make me feel worse than I already do.
“Marek…it’s fine,” she says quietly. “I’ve made my peace with it and I have Lilly. I’m blessed.”
So easy for her to say that. She’s had years to process it, but I just had my guts metaphorically torn out of me two minutes ago.
“I, um…I gotta go get packed for my flight tomorrow,” I say lamely as I move to the door. All thoughts of kissing that beautiful face and sinking into that gorgeous pussy are long forgotten. I turn to face her just before I step out of her room. “We good about last night, though?”
Understanding dawns on her face as she immediately gets what I’m saying. Last night was truly a one-time-only thing. There’s no way I can continue that shit with Gracen.
Not when she provokes the most amazing—and also the worst—feelings within me. I can’t ever let my heart get tied back up with her like that again, as I’m finding out that it fucking hurts when the person you care about hurts.
Chapter 20
Gracen
I feel my bed dip and I come awake. It’s what moms do. We’re trained to awaken at the slightest disturbance when you have a child to consider. My first thought is of Lilly, but then a hard male body presses in to my backside. A strong arm comes across my stomach and pulls me in tight.
Marek.
His lips go to the back of my head, pressing a light kiss there before saying, “You awake?”
“What are you doing?” I ask, answering his question and asking one of my own. My heart is hammering from his closeness and pure shock he’s in my bed. After he walked out of my room four days ago, I thought the boundary lines had been drawn deeply.