Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
“We’re going with you,” my father declares, looking around the room and getting a chin nod from Uncle Matthew. “If you need us.”
“I’m not the one who needs anything.” My voice goes higher than I want it to go, and my fists ball at my sides. “His wife and kids, who have to live without him, need…” I shake my head. “I’m going to take my own car.”
“I’ll drive,” Stone says quickly, blocking the door, and I don’t even bother answering him. Instead, I just walk out into the warm, sunny day and look at the sky, wishing today to be over.
We arrive at the funeral home at the same time as a black sedan with tinted windows pulls up. The media has already lined up across the street, making my hands ball into fists. “Can they do that?” I ask my uncle Matthew, who stands behind me. “Like, can’t they respect privacy?”
“Them standing across the street is them respecting their privacy,” he states. “Like it or not, it’s a public street. Anyone can stand wherever they want.”
I shake my head and look over at the SUV. Koda gets out wearing a black skirt with a matching jacket and black shades cover her eyes. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail as she holds Rain’s and Luna’s hands, both of them dressed in black. Rain looks down at her feet while Luna smiles at Koda. My heart, or whatever is left of my heart, in that second is gone.
“I think you should go.” My father slaps a hand on my shoulder. “The team is lining up.” He motions with his chin to my teammates lining up on the side of the open doors.
I take a deep breath. “Here,” Stone says, taking off his black sunglasses and handing them to me, “take these.”
My hand shakes as I reach up and take them out of his hand. I put them on and walk over to the team. Hugs are exchanged, and a couple of words are also expressed before Eddie walks over to us. I don’t know what he says because I block out everything as I look into the funeral home and see Koda sitting in a chair with Rain next to her and Luna on her lap. Her hand holds one of Rain’s while she has one on Luna’s leg. With her glasses on, I can’t see her eyes, but I see the tears streaked down her face. I can see the tip of her nose is pink, and I can see her trying not to shake while crying.
We get in line as we walk into the funeral home to give our condolences. Eddie stands next to his wife, right next to Rain, who stands next to Luna, who is glued to her mother’s side. Koda’s parents are on her other side. “Uncle Chrissy,” Luna says the minute she sees me. “You have a candy?” She leans in and whispers. After every game, Benji and I used to walk out of the locker room together, and I always had candy in my pocket for her. “In there.” She points at the right pocket where I always kept them.
“Yeah, girlie.” I smile at her through the tears running down my face but that are hidden behind the glasses I’m thankful I’m wearing. I reach into the pocket and take out two. “You share with your sister,” I tell her, and she grabs both of them from my palm.
Rain smiles at me as she takes one from her sister, and I look at Koda, neither of us saying anything before I reach out and hug her. Her body is stiff as she lifts a hand to my back. “Thank you for coming,” she says through her tears, and all I can do is nod. She doesn’t want me here. I know this, but I’m thankful she doesn’t make it known to everyone around me.
Today is one of the worst days of my life, carrying his coffin out of the funeral home to the hearse that will take him to the cemetery, all while hating him for what he did. The knot in my stomach just gets bigger and bigger. The tightness in my chest makes it harder and harder to breathe.
With my head hanging down and my hand going to my neck to loosen the tie, I walk to my car with Stone, my father, Dylan, and my uncles Matthew and Max. Everyone else is probably at my house. “Are you going to the house?” Stone asks softly.
“I don’t know,” I tell him, looking over to see Koda getting into the SUV with the girls. “There’s not much more to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” my father says. “You just have to be there. He would do it for you.”
“I guess he would,” I mumble instead of shouting “I wouldn’t fucking put my family through that.”