Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 112001 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112001 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
“The immunotherapy was really hard on him,” Gus said gently. “And when we took him off of it, and gave him the nutrients and fluids he needed, there was a resurgence of energy. Well, we’re going to keep him here as long as we can by supporting his organ function and making sure he’s comfortable.”
She thought back to the spring—and some of the Facebook groups she’d joined when she’d tried to find information and support.
“It was the last flare,” she heard herself say.
“I’m sorry?”
Lydia cleared her throat and went back to stroking Daniel’s face. “I saw some posts online that… in the last stage, right before the failing, there’s often a short period where things are kind of normal. Or normal-er. Like, they come back and have some good days. A bloom in the fall.”
When Gus didn’t say anything, she glanced over at him. “You’ve heard of that, too?”
“Every case is different.”
“That’s such a doctor response.”
“It’s also true. Lydia, as much as you can, I need you to try to remain calm. We’ve seen him out of this acute episode, and tomorrow, we’ll reassess what our longer-term options are.”
“You already told me we’re out of them.” Her voice went flat. “Unless you think we can give him Vita-12b.”
Gus’s face grew tight. “That isn’t what he wants.”
“No… it isn’t.” As she stared at Daniel, willing him to wake up, she felt like her soul was dying with him. “He doesn’t want to suffer anymore.”
“And it’s an untested substance,” someone said.
C.P. Phalen. That was who had spoken. And as Gus looked across the room sharply, Lydia moved from the chair to the bed. Stretching out next to Daniel, she laid her arm gently over his chest, and tried to take some reassurance from the fact that he was breathing on his own. Even if the hiss of the oxygen mask was a reminder that he wasn’t completely independent.
“Daniel,” she said in a voice that cracked. “I’m right here…”
* * *
Up upon the mountain called Deer, Blade stood before his sister, his sense of what was real and what was a hope-created fantasy becoming suddenly, inexplicably, one and the same—and considering what he was, that was an unexpected confluence on so many levels. Optimism was to a symphath as sociopathy was to the well-adjusted—but oil and water were mixing. Had mixed. And prima facie evidence that the impossible had occurred was the fact that Xhex’s grid was reknitting, reforming, quadrant by quadrant, right in front of his own eyes.
And her advice about the wolven was spot-on, too.
He did need to leave Lydia Susi alone.
Shaking his head, he closed his eyes. “I don’t think I can.”
“You have to—”
“Let me ask you something.” He refocused on his sister, squaring his shoulders and shifting his weight. “Do you know how you feel in this moment? The relief? The grace? The near miss that ended well as opposed to badly?”
“Yeah?”
“If you could give this to another who suffers… would you do it? If you loved them?”
“Of course.”
“But what if it cost you the very core of yourself.”
Xhex frowned. “What are you talking about?”
He glanced back at where the entity had been, in its wolven form. “The old woman told me that I am Lydia’s future, but not in the way I wish I was.”
“She is in love with Daniel.”
“Yes, and he is dying—and that, I am afraid, is what I can fix.” As his sister’s eyes widened in surprise, he had to walk off a little because he could not hold inside his skin the emotions within his heart. “If he dies, I could comfort her, and that is something to build on—”
“First off, I hate to break it to you, but she’ll love him forever even if he’s dead.” His sister put her dagger hand over her heart. “And I know this because if anything happens to John Matthew, there’s no one else for me.”
Blade thought about it for a moment. “Interestingly, that rather helps.”
“But I don’t get it. What can you ‘fix’ for Daniel? I mean, mind control is one thing, but advanced cancer? That’s not the kind of shit you just will out of someone’s body.”
“Oh, it is not his will that I have at my disposal.”
Xhex stared at him, clearly nonplussed. “You have a… cure? For cancer?”
“It is not without a sacrifice, however.”
Silence stretched out between them. “Do you love her,” Xhex said. “Truly, really, love her, without motivation, without ulterior interest.”
He thought about the wolf, staring at him with those golden eyes, so deadly… so beautiful.
“Yes, I do.”
“Okay, then. What else in the universe is more worth sacrificing for than… love. If you really feel like that for her, and you know you can save that which she cares for the most? The answer is simple. Love is giving everything you have, even if it hurts.”