Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 76136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
She closes the door and folds her arms over her chest. “Go on.” She doesn’t move from in front of the door.
I knew we would be doing this, but I thought for sure it would be while we were eating. I put the food down beside me, just in case she does kick me out of her house, at least she is going to eat. “Wow, so we are doing this right away,” I start, looking at her. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asks, her eyes going into slits. I wish she would give me an option to talk, but I’ve riled her up and she’s ready to go to war with me. I can see it in her eyes that are so dark now, and all I want to do is hold her face and kiss her until her eyes are light again. I also know from the look she is giving me, if I do that, she is going to shoot me in the ass and then the foot.
“For fucking everything,” I finally admit.
“Oh, no.” She shakes her head. “You wanted this little chat. You are going to get a little chat. Let’s start with you not calling me to cancel the plans.”
I close my eyes, not wanting to do this, but knowing I have no choice. I brought this on myself and it’s time to face the music. “But instead of calling me and, you know, cancelling, you made me worry that you were hurt somewhere.” I just watch her because she’s right. I’m about to tell her this but she holds up her hand. “So what do you do? You come home and I’m annoyed because you aren’t on the side of the road bleeding out?” I am about to laugh but I roll my lips. “Not only are you not bleeding out, you’re drunk as a fucking skunk. And what do you do, Matty?” She cocks her head to the side and folds her arms over her chest. Her chest is rising and falling as if she ran a marathon.
I hold up my hand. “You want to do this; you call me by my name. To you I’m Matthew,” I remind her, “and I know what I did. I fucked up in ways that I can’t even explain.” I finally start talking, the words coming out like word vomit. “I fucking fucked up so freaking hard that there are no words I can say that can make it forgivable. You have to know, Sofia, it was the booze talking.”
“You broke up with me drunk, and then the next day sent me all my stuff!” she yells at me. “The next day!” She throws her hands in the air. “You can’t blame the booze on that!”
“That is where you are wrong,” I say gently. “I did it that night.” The words come out soft. “I was so pissed that you just left, I stormed in the house and started packing up your stuff.” Her arms fall to her sides. “So I’m even more of an idiot, I know. But when I woke up the next day, it was a blur. I swear to you, Sofia, I didn’t even remember that I packed your stuff up. I woke up and saw all your things gone from the side table and then bits and pieces were coming back. But then I was coming to you when David,” I say, his name raising my eyebrows, “knocked on my door and presented me with my own box.” She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, David; the same David I told you had his dick wet for you. He was returning my stuff to me with all of our pictures cut in half.”
“He did not!” she declares, not looking at me. “And you are missing the point.” She looks at me. “You fucking broke my heart!” she yells at the top of her lungs, anger filling the room. “You fucking shattered me!”
“Do you not think I broke my own heart?” I ask, hating I hurt her so deeply. “You don’t think that it killed me just as much as it killed you?”
“I have no idea,” she says softly. “You know why, you didn’t even bother to come and see me, to come and talk to me. To do anything.”
“I tried to call you a week after,” I tell her, “but your phone was already disconnected.”
“Oh, it was fucking disconnected two days later. Two days I waited for you to come and see me. Two days, telling myself, you know that he’s going to come, just you wait.” She shakes her head. “I was wrong.”
“There are a few things I’ve done in my life that I regret,” I tell her, swallowing the lump in my throat. “That night is number one on that list. I lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. I lost the woman I loved more than life itself. I lost half of my soul that night.”