Total pages in book: 178
Estimated words: 170884 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 170884 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
I laughed the entire way to work.
***
Ling
I was feeling so low that it only made sense to get high.
A storm was brewing. A raging storm that was bound to cost lives. And its billowing winds had knocked the sense right out of me.
It had been three days since the phone call.
The phone call that wrecked me.
Having not slept in three fucking days, I drove in silence, and it never even occurred to me to wonder how the hell I was still functioning after being awake for a solid seventy-two hours. The blow I snorted earlier was probably the reason my heart was racing the way it was, but in my mind, my heart was malfunctioning, crashing from the news that I was no longer wanted.
I didn’t cry. No. I wouldn’t cry.
No man was worth my precious tears. In all my years, I never believed myself stupid enough to fall for this kind of bullshit.
Yet, here I was, broken.
The baddest bitch on this side of the hemisphere, I considered myself immune to the ministrations of men like him. How could I be so stupid?
My lip curled as I pushed down on the accelerator, gripping the steering wheel tightly, overtaking cars recklessly as I flew down the highway.
Aslan Sadik left his mark on me.
Oh, he gonna learn today.
And now, I would leave my own mark.
The beautiful Turk would learn that you couldn’t just play with people’s feelings like he had. You couldn’t just tell somebody you loved them then discard them. It was a dick move to make somebody believed you cared for them then just... leave. He showed me tenderness I’d never known, and I would never be the same.
I begged.
Can you fucking believe that shit?
My insides shriveled with shame.
I begged him to stay with me.
Who is this weak-ass bitch?
My heart rate increased as I let out a humorless laugh, my hair whipping around me as the wind assaulted my stinging eyes.
Yes, that’s why I was tearing up. It was from the wind. Not from the hurt.
Yeah. You tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself, boo.
Stupid men.
I hated them. All of them.
I was officially going full-metal lez. No more cock for me. I clearly wasn’t responsible enough to trust myself around dick anymore.
What a fucking shame.
I loved cock.
When I started driving, I didn’t know where I was going, but now that I was pulling up to the curb, I realized I’d known all along. My hold on the steering wheel was so tight my knuckles turned white. I took in a deep breath and glanced across the street a moment before what was left of my heart built a wall around itself, protecting itself from me and the decisions I had made to allow this to happen.
I didn’t even blame Az. Not really. I trusted him and I knew better, and that was on me.
Maybe that’s why this stung so much. The only man I had let break me before was a man who preferred to die than be with me.
I tipped my head back and laughed openly a long while before my heart jerked in such a way that caused me to put a shaking hand to my chest, panting through the pain.
Why didn’t anyone want me?
“What’s wrong with me?” I spoke into the stillness of the car’s interior before gritting my teeth, looking at myself in the rearview mirror. Lifting a hand, I reared back and threw it across my cheek, the impact making a solid whack.
I gasped then panted, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as my core clenched. The area throbbed, and I closed my eyes in bliss as a tear fell from my lashes.
Again.
I lifted my opposite hand, shaking from anticipation. I needed more, more pain to dull the grief. When the second blow landed, I let out a low whine, biting my lip, treasuring the blazing heat throbbing in my panties.
Some things never changed.
It was careless of me to think I could.
I was born this way. I couldn’t alter, no matter how much I wanted to at the weakest of times. But this crazy bitch owned her insanity, wore it like a second skin, and today, I was not just crazy. I was deranged, demented.
Psycho with a side of schizo.
A lunatic with loose screws.
And as I stared into my reflection, running my hands over the heated flesh at my cheeks, I barely recognized myself.
What have they done to you, little bird?
My gaze settled, calmed, and when I took in my next breath, my raging heart steadied, and with a coolness I had perfected over the years, I stepped out of the car.
This was the beginning of the end. Homecoming. And I hoped Az was ready for it, because I had plans for him and the wife who adored him.
My Louboutin-clad feet carried me to the trunk, and when I hit the button on my keys, it lifted. I examined my choices.