Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
30
Kennedy
Everything seems to fall back into place, the only difference is I have a six-foot-two-inch guy that sleeps beside me every night. Jackson has taken up permanent residency as my roommate. I stopped telling him to leave me alone, mainly because it was a waste of my time and annoying since he didn’t listen anyway.
I find my way back into a routine. School, homework, eat, sleep… there is only one thing that’s been missing. Since that night, I haven’t cut myself. It was part of my life for so long. Part of my day, really. Even with me going to therapy, I struggle every day. It was more than a bad habit—it was an addiction. One that I can’t just turn off.
I promised myself and my family that I wouldn’t cut myself again, and I haven’t… but I have been picking at the scabs. It still gives me some of the pain, some of the release I crave. Problem is, now the scabs are healed.
Standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror, I probe at the pink skin where the largest cut was. I press my finger down as hard as I can, but the release never comes. I stand inside the bathroom for a long time, fighting with myself on what to do. I took the razor blades out of the medicine cabinet, but I hid a few under the sink. Maybe I can just make a tiny cut––
“Kennedy,” Jackson’s voice comes through the closed door, startling me. I jerk away from the door, my boobs bouncing as I do. “You okay in there?”
“Y-Yes… ah, I’ll be right out.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been in there forever.” His tone holds an accusation, and I know what he thinks. What’s really fucked up is that I’m mad at him for thinking that I’m in here cutting myself, even though that’s exactly what I was thinking about.
Having the urge to prove to him that I wasn’t, I unlock the door and pull it open without thinking.
“See, I’m fine,” I snap.
His mouth pops open, but no words come out. His eyes go wide as his heated gaze roams my naked body.
“I want sex,” I blurt out, and his gaze snaps back up to mine. I know without a doubt, he wants it too. If the lust in his eyes didn’t give him away, the growing bulge in his pants would.
“Are you sure?” he says, licking his lips like he just ordered a porterhouse steak.
“Yes. I want you to fuck me. Like you did the first time.”
His face falls. “You want me to hurt you?” It’s more of a statement than a question, and I hate that he can read me so well.
I shrug. “Maybe just a little.”
Instead of answering, he grabs my waist, lifts me up, and throws me over his shoulder like a freaking caveman. “What the hell are you doing?”
He just chuckles and carries me to the bedroom, where he deposits me onto my mattress. I watch as he starts taking off his own clothes, enjoying every second of the little show he is giving me. My mouth goes dry while moisture builds between my thighs. I almost forgot what kind of effect Jackson has on me.
“Spread your legs for me,” he orders, his voice deep and raspy.
I do as he says and spread out for him, showing him how much I want this right now, how much I want him. I’m completely exposed. Vulnerable, not only physically but mentally too. I don’t want to admit it to myself or him, but I’ve been depending on him. Every day, I lean on him a little more, even if I don’t mean to. I don’t understand it at all. I’ve been trying to push him away when, in reality, I would be worse off without him.
Crawling onto the bed, his naked body hovers above mine. He’s so close, I could reach out and touch him, and so I do. Lifting my hands, I run my fingertips over his hard chest and the chiseled abs. His jaw pops, and he hisses through his teeth.
He’s enjoying this more than he’s letting on.
“I’ll never miss an opportunity to be inside of you, but I won’t hurt you. Not now or ever again. I know you’re struggling. I know you want to cut and hurt yourself again, but I won’t let that happen. I will make you feel good in a different way… make you forget. Okay?”
I nod my head before the last word even leaves his mouth. I want that so badly… I want him so badly. All I need is one second, one single second of silence, and I can continue going. Lowering himself, he blankets my body with his. I can’t help but moan when his hard erection presses against my center.