Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 140184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 701(@200wpm)___ 561(@250wpm)___ 467(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 701(@200wpm)___ 561(@250wpm)___ 467(@300wpm)
“You can control and protect me all you want,” I murmur, my face flushing. “I just don’t want you to treat me like a leper.”
He catches my chin and tilts it up gently to make me meet his gaze. “I am so fucking sorry if I made you think for one second I didn’t want to touch you. That has never been the issue.”
I want to look away, but he doesn’t want me to, so I hold his gaze even though I’m deeply uncomfortable looking him in the eye as I say this next thing. “I thought maybe it was because of what I did with Jonathan.”
He shakes his head meaningfully, so I see he’s sincere. “No.”
“I haven’t started my period yet,” I blurt, voicing a concern that makes my stomach drop. “I looked it up online. Usually after three days, people do, but I haven’t. And I read that if the sex happened during ovulation, um… the pill won’t work. I don’t know if that means...”
He nods, understanding what I’m saying even though I can’t finish the sentence. I feel horrible for the light dimming in his beautiful blue eyes, so I hug him.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I should have said something. I shouldn’t have let him…”
He tightens his arms around me, holding me as the hot water beats down on my back. “It isn’t your fault. It doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out.” He pauses, then says carefully, “I don’t know the details of what happened, Kennedy. If you had to make an educated guess, do you think there’s a better chance Jonathan would be the father, or…?”
“Only Jonathan came inside me,” I say, even though the words make me want to die. “No one else finished, but there was contact. I just wanted to be abundantly safe.”
I don’t want to say more, and he doesn’t make me. I feel him nod over my head, then he murmurs, “All right. Well, we’ll deal with that if we have to.”
My stomach feels a bit sick thinking about it. He probably doesn’t want to think about it, either, so he lets me go and grabs the washcloth.
Once my stomach stops hurting, the shower is nice. It’s tender and intimate. Milo washes my hair for me, then pulls me back against him and soaps up my tits. Excitement courses through me as he drags the soapy cloth down my belly, and my eyes drift closed as he runs it across my inner thighs.
It’s impossible not to get turned on with him touching my naked body like this, even if he’s only cleaning me. The evidence of his arousal prods me, too. I want to touch him and give him relief, but I’m too afraid he doesn’t want me to.
After the shower, we dry off and head back to the bedroom. We should probably eat, but I’m not hungry. Not for food, anyway.
I’m hungry for the closeness he offers when we lie naked in his bed and he reaches for me. I scoot closer, settling in with one of his arms wrapped around me, one hand lying absently on his chiseled abdomen.
I love his hands so my gaze drifts to it, but I frown seeing how red his knuckles are.
“What happened here?” I ask, gently lifting his hand to look at it.
He flexes his knuckles and I bring them to my lips to kiss the red, angry-looking skin. “Nothing. Just went a little harder than usual in the gym.”
My lips turn down and I peer up at him. “Were you angry?”
“Yes. Not at you. I just needed to punch something I didn’t help create,” he says wryly.
My eyebrows rise momentarily in surprise, but that could only mean one thing. “Jonathan?”
“Mm-hmm,” he murmurs, his hand moving to cover mine. “He pissed me off at breakfast.”
“Was he taunting you?”
“Little bit.”
I sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for him.”
“It feels like my fault there’s anything to taunt you with.”
He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. I just couldn’t hit him, so I hit the bag instead. Really, I should thank him. Got a good workout in,” he says with a little smile, bringing my hand up so he can give it a soft kiss.
“Was it about before, or the other night on the couch?”
“It doesn’t matter what it was about.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have done that,” I suggest, watching anxiously for any telltale sign that it bothers him. “I thought it was a bad idea, but I couldn’t tell right away if you liked it… And I didn’t know what to do.”
“Kennedy, it’s fine. I’m not upset about it, I promise.”
I plod on, anyway. “I was afraid that seeing me with Jonathan might change things for you. Knowing what happened behind closed doors is one thing, but actually seeing it…”
He shakes his head. “I was hesitant at first because it’s not really my thing, but I knew it would be good for you. As long as you and I are together, you’ll always have to be around Jonathan. Since your last experience with him wasn’t entirely consensual, I wanted you to have a better taste in your mouth. He doesn’t seem to think it was a big deal, but I know you didn’t feel good about it. I always want you to have what you need, Kennedy, even if I’m not the one giving it to you. It’s just frustrating,” he says, and I can feel the tension in him. “I’ve never been in that position before.”