Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 111038 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111038 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
“But everyone thought he was,” I continued.
My chest tightened again, like something was sitting heavy on my throat. I had to push through it, ignore it. That was my panic rising.
I coughed and plunged forward. “I’m smart. I don’t know if I told you.”
He nodded slowly. He was listening. He was with me.
“Like, I’m almost genius-level smart.”
“He doesn’t respect modesty. Be bold.”
Fuck off, Owen!
“Be proud.”
I sucked in my breath, feeling tears rising. Damn. He always used to do that to me.
“I am genius-level smart. Like, they wanted me to skip a grade.” I winced. “Or two.” Then I hurried. “But I didn’t let them. I mean, I went up one grade…” I wasn’t explaining any of this the right way.
So not a genius.
I tried to backtrack. “Here’s the thing, I’m young.”
His eyes clouded over. “How young?”
“I turned seventeen three weeks ago.”
I was a sixteen-year-old senior. Har har. Laugh at the little genius girl. Now let’s all throw popcorn at her so she can break down and we can feel better about ourselves.
I braced myself—it was always the same response. Always.
But nothing came.
I’d even closed my eyes, preparing myself. For nothing.
I opened them and Blaise was just staring at me, except the clouds weren’t in his eyes any more. They were all over his face. He was almost glaring. I hadn’t expected that reaction. Though, maybe I should’ve? We did have sex. Were you supposed to explain all your hidden secrets before climbing into bed with each other? Probably.
I was going to suck as an adult. I couldn’t even get this teenager stuff right, and I only had one year left. Well, not really. I was off to college. That was adulthood. Kinda.
“That’s why you don’t have friends?”
“What?” I squeaked out.
His face was livid. I thought I was reading that right, but his tone was tender. “You don’t have friends, Aspen. We’ve talked about this. I knew you didn’t know anyone at school, but I thought there’d be someone. Old friends from your last school. A cousin maybe? There’s been no one.”
Crap.
So many craps.
“I…” had no idea what I was doing anymore. What was the point of me starting this? “I thought I had friends.” Then Owen died. “I realized I didn’t later.”
“What happened?” Blaise was quiet a moment. “Where are your parents?”
God.
Right there. He’d dug right in, right to the bone.
My throat burned.
I didn’t answer.
“They aren’t here. We’re graduating in two days. Where are your parents?” He spoke so softly, so kindly.
I hated it.
Fine. Let’s do this.
It was time, right?
“It used to be me and Owen. Nate left us while we were at Hillcrest, but I had Owen. He had friends. I didn’t, though I didn’t realize that until later. I’d thought they were my friends. Owen was the popular one. I never was. I was a year younger, but in the same grade, and when people know that, it makes a difference. They look at you differently. You’re not one of them.”
I could’ve told him some other stuff about when they found out you were smarter than they were, but I didn’t have the energy at the moment.
“Kids can be cruel,” I said in summary, my words faint even to my ears. “Owen died last summer.”
The screams.
The music.
The brakes.
The screeching.
The metal being hit.
“There was a car accident,” I told him. “There was nothing salacious about it, just a run-of-the-mill car accident.”
“No car accident is run-of-the-mill,” he rasped.
True.
“No drugs. No drinking,” I clarified. “Owen was driving me and two of his friends. They were in the back. I was in the front.” Here was the hard part.
I didn’t want to feel it, so I started closing myself down.
One wall at a time.
“You gotta tell him, sis. For you.”
“Owen and I were fighting over the music.”
“I don’t want to listen to rap,” I’d told him.
He’d laughed. “Whatever. Driver picks the music.”
“I changed the music because I was being stupid,” I explained.
“No sad shit, Asp. Come on!” He’d still been laughing.
“We started a little wrestling match, shoving back and forth, and then…”
“Look out!”
“We were going around a curve, and there was a car coming toward us. It was in our lane.”
“Oh shit!”
“Owen yanked the wheel, and time slowed down. We missed the car, and it was so weird because I could see them perfectly as we passed. It was a lady, and she’d been reaching back to the seats behind her. She didn’t even see us coming, but they did. She had two little kids in their car seats. She saw them see us, and she was starting to turn, but it was done by then.”
“Aspen,” Blaise breathed.
My throat was so tight, I could barely swallow. I could barely talk.
“Owen held my hand as we hit the metal guard rail on the ditch. The doctors think that’s what saved my life, but we don’t know. Owen died on impact. One of the guys in the back was tossed from the car, but he ended up being okay. It was a miracle for him, and the other guy just had scrapes and bruises.”