Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 33298 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33298 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
“I’ve never felt like I was good enough for you,” I admit. It’s time to put this all on the table, to have a real conversation with her.
She takes the seat and her shoulders hunch. She looks for a moment as if she’s bracing for some kind of blow, but she doesn’t interrupt me.
“You threatened to send me away, to replace me with a kid from the adoption agency every time I did something that displeased you.” Telling her this is freeing in a way, but it’s also making me feel raw and exposed.
Her mouth opens and closes with no sound. For a long moment, I think she’s going to deny it. But then, she finally speaks. Unshed tears glisten in her gaze. “I didn’t realize…it’s what your grandmother used to say to me.”
I sense there’s more, something she’s trying to find a way to put into words.
“I wasn’t her real daughter even though I was raised in her house. I was the product of an affair your grandfather had. She was always threatening to send me to the orphanage. She’d spend hours picking me apart. My hair was too thin and my nose was too crooked. I was too bookish, used words that were too smart. Sorry, it’s not about me.”
She clasps her hands together again. Suddenly, I see her for who she is. A woman that’s been just as starved for affection as me. She’s been trying to earn it the same way I have, hopeful that with each new accomplishment, someone would notice. Someone would finally tell her that she’s good enough to be loved.
I reach out and put a hand on her shoulder. Her mistakes from the past aren’t magically better. There will always be pockets of hurt in my heart from where she didn’t love me the way a mother should. But something about hearing this has changed the way I see her. She’s no longer the villain in my story. Now, she’s just another character, a deeply flawed one that’s aching to be accepted anyway. “It’s OK, Mom.”
She shakes her head and tears roll down her cheeks. “It’s not OK. I never meant to carry on the tradition. I was just relating to you the only way I knew how.”
“We’ve both been shit parents,” my dad says, coming to take a seat on my other side.
I frown at his use of an expletive. In twenty-one years, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him swear. He’s always been so polished, like he was expecting to be called on for an emergency lecture at any moment.
“I’ve ignored you and your mom, given my attention to other things. Less important things,” he sighs and pulls his glasses from his face. He cleans them with the sleeve of his dress shirt, the way I’ve seen him do a thousand times. “We’re here to ask for another chance. We want to do better.”
Their words ease part of the ache deep in my chest. We can’t go back and change the past, not any of us. But we can move forward together. “I’d like that.”
A crew member knocks before sticking his head inside the room. “If you’ll follow me, Ms. Hughes…”
“I’m so nervous,” I tell them as I stand. I tug my top straight and try to remember that this isn’t a big deal. I’m only going to be on national TV with my face splashed across countless social media channels soon.
“You can do this, honey,” mom says.
“Go get ‘em, tiger,” Dad says a little too enthusiastically.
I give them both a smile. Even though it feels weird to have their encouragement, it’s still nice. That’s when I frown. They were set against doing this only days ago. “Why are you here now? How did you know when the taping would be?”
“Landon came to see us,” Mom explains.
My shattered heart skips a beat. I open my mouth to ask more questions when the crew member says, “We really have to go, Ms. Hughes. You’re on in sixty seconds.”
15
GWEN
My face feels frozen in a permanent smile. I’ve answered so many questions for Maddy and the audience members. Everyone has been amazing and kind, but I can’t help wondering about Blade. Why did he talk to my parents? What does it mean that he sought them out? Does this show he cares about me?
The thought makes my stomach flip. Should I call him? Will he call me? Maybe it was just his attempt to fix what happened between us, and it doesn’t mean anything at all. Ugh, I need to have a discussion with Zoey and Piper. They’ll know what it means.
“And before we go, we have a very special guest here to share how your books have changed his life.” Maddy beams at me, interrupting my thoughts about the man I can’t seem to get out of my head. “Are you ready to meet him?”