Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 120031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 600(@200wpm)___ 480(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120031 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 600(@200wpm)___ 480(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
She patted his hand, pushed to her feet, and then retreated into the lodge, leaving Eli alone with his thoughts.
Feeling like he’d been hit by a two-by-four, he could only sit limply in his seat. Shit, fuck, shit, his mother was right. She’d seen what he himself had been unable to see. The truth was really very simple. Deep inside, Eli worried that fully bonding with Casey meant—should he ever die, causing the mating bond to shatter—he might one day inadvertently kill her.
No, it wasn’t a worry. It was a fear. A cold, stomach-churning fear.
People had more chance of surviving the loss of their mate if they only shared a partial bond. The moment Eli dropped that last wall between him and Casey, he could very well be condemning her to death or to the half-life his mother had been living all these years, depending on what the future had in store for them.
It wasn’t rare for a person’s mate to die. Plenty of the cougars had died tonight—many, if not all of them, could have been mated. He didn’t want Casey to experience that loss. He never wanted to cause her any pain. He wanted to protect, cosset, and shield her.
But, really, holding back wouldn’t protect her, would it? It would only eat at them both; would only peck away at their bond and create a tremendous amount of bitterness between them. It might also be pointless, considering there was every chance they could live a long, happy life together … if he’d only let go of this fear.
He wanted to. He did. But he couldn’t. He’d never stop fearing that they’d one day be torn apart. Never.
That was all part and parcel of loving someone, though, wasn’t it? Really, it didn’t seem logical to not fear losing someone you loved. So, no, he couldn’t do what his mother had asked and let said fear go.
But he could do the other things she’d asked of him. He could shove the negativity aside and enjoy the present rather than overthinking what the future might bring. He could treasure the happiness he’d found with Casey and—
A sharp pain slammed into his head and chest, disorienting him. He double-blinked as his vision darkened around the edges. But then the pain faded little by little … and he realized that the mating bond had fully snapped into place.
A smile touched his mouth, and a deep warmth spread through his body. Eli closed his eyes for a moment, relishing the elation and peacefulness that settled over him. His chest felt light … as if a weight had been lifted from it. Inside him, his wolf did a languid stretch, feeling fulfilled all the way from his head to his paws.
Opening his eyes, Eli took a deep, contented breath. He felt Casey so much more strongly now … like his whole being was fully tuned into the metaphysical frequency of hers. He could sense that she was awake, which was no surprise.
Wanting nothing more than to share this moment with her, Eli pushed off the swing and headed back home, breathing easier than he had in what felt like years. Inside their lodge, he went straight to the bedroom and found her sitting on the bed, looking adorably flustered. He had to smile.
Peering up at him through heavy-lidded eyes, she shoved her hair out of her face. “Okay, what happened? I mean, I know the bond snapped into place. It woke me up. I’m just wondering what led to it.”
Eli lay on his side on the mattress and planted his elbow on the pillow. “I had a talk with my mother, and she made me see a few things.” He danced his fingertips along her bare arm. “It was my fault the bond hadn’t fully snapped into place.”
Casey lay down next to him, mirroring his posture. “Your fault how?”
“My mother was in a terrible state after my father died. It was hard to see her that way. I could tell how easy it would have been for her to just slip away. I wouldn’t even have blamed her for it. She was just in so much pain. So depressed and devastated.”
Casey swallowed, all too able to imagine just how hard it had been for Kathy. The woman had been through all nine circles of hell. And it was a hell she’d never leave, because she’d always be without her mate.
“Losing him wrecked her. Changed her. It’s not right that she’ll grow old alone and then die alone.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “I don’t want that for you. One of my biggest fears is that you’ll suffer the same fate as her. Because of that, I subconsciously held back from the bond.”
Getting it, Casey gave a slow nod. Really, she should have guessed that was the issue. “I understand.”