Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 117443 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117443 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Chris reached for her. “Hayley, I’m not some chump off the street. I’m a Ranger. I-”
She jerked away. “He could still kill you! It doesn’t matter. If he finds me, you-”
“The man who raped you? How could he find you, Hayley?”
She hesitated and blinked up at him.
“Hayley, you’ve been on the run for five years,” Chris reminded her. “Never using I.D., only paying in cash. My guess would be he lost track of you three, maybe four years ago. Probably longer. If he didn’t find you in Dallas, he was never going to.”
“He might,” she insisted.
“How?” he argued.
Finally she had to give in. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
“You’re afraid of it, and I understand that. But it’s not rational, Hayley. He can’t find you. Not now. And even though you pull the dresser in front of your bedroom door every night, I think you know that’s true. You’re more afraid of me, Hayley, than him. But not for the same reasons.”
She frowned at him. “I- I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. You know what I’m talking about. If he can’t find you, why do you keep running, Hayley?” He gave her a second to answer even though he knew she wouldn’t. “Baby. You’re holding on to that other life so hard your knuckles are turning white. That’s why you move around so much. Leave before you can connect with anyone, make any attachments. You want it back. And you don’t want anyone getting in your way when you finally decide it’s safe to go home.
“But it’s wearing on you. You’re not built for solitude, Hayley. Not many people are, but you’re definitely not. Spending time with me, and the boys, you need it Hayley. You’re desperate for it, whether you can admit it or not. It’s proof, honey, that you cannot go on living the way you are. It’s doing more damage to you than he ever did.”
She shook her head vehemently. “No. No, this is temporary. It’s all just temporary. Until I can go home. It’s-”
“Five years is not temporary, Hayley. This is your life now. Not that other one. I don’t know exactly what’s keeping you away from home, but if you’re waiting for him to be caught Hayley, he may never be. You have to learn to accept that. You either have to go home and try to live there, even if you don’t feel safe, or you can try to live here. But if you keep running, you’re going end up so lost inside your own head you may never find your way out. Is that what you want, Hayley? To wake up screaming another five years from now? Ten years? How long can you keep going not sleeping through the night? On your feet day after day, living on nothing but tips?”
She glared at him. “As long as I have to until I can go home!”
“Alright,” he said quietly. “Alright.” He could see this was not a war he was going to win tonight. This dream of going home was all that had kept her alive for five years and she wasn’t going to let go of it any time soon. “If it’s just temporary, Hayley, if you’re just biding your time until it’s safe to go back, then spend it with me. At least some of it. As much as you can.” When she started shaking her head again, he said, “You slept on top of me, Hayley. You slept. All night. Now I’m not saying that ever has to happen again if you don’t want it to, but I am saying that some part of you knows, absolutely knows, that you are safe with me. In the army we learn to eat when we can, sleep when we can. Just take a break, Hayley. Just rest. For as long as you can.”
Hayley was quiet for a long time and actually seemed to be considering his words. But then she said, “I can’t-” She stopped and took a deep breath. “When Jimmy kissed me? That’s the first time anyone’s touched me in five years. I don’t- I mean I can’t be what you want. There’s just no way. That woman at the picnic? I can’t ever be that.”
“If I wanted the blond, I’d have her. And if that’s the first time anyone’s kissed you, then you don’t know what you can do. I got a pretty good glimpse of it last night and you’ve definitely got fire inside you. You may have scared yourself with it last night. You’re used to letting that head of yours talk you out of anything that seems too dangerous or out of control. But I’m a patient man. I can wait.”
She made a face. “But you’re used to women who throw themselves at you. You can’t-”
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, Slick. I know exactly what kind of man I am. Whether you’re in my bed or down the hall, you’re mine. And if you’re mine, I’m yours. And that’s all there is to it. There won’t be any other women. That I can promise you. I’ve been through Basic, and Ranger school, and three tours and believe me, I can go without. But I won’t be going without. You’ll be in my kitchen, in my tub, and on my couch at the very least, and that’s good enough for me.”