Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 98789 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98789 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
“Yes, I would,” I said, storming past her and throwing the beaded curtain aside. The room looked the same—black walls, stained glass lamp with beaded fringe shade, table holding crystals, cards, and hand sanitizer.
“Take a seat,” said Delphine, following me inside.
“No, thanks. I’ll stand.” But what I did was pace.
Delphine lowered herself into her chair. “You seem upset.”
“I am upset. You lied to me.” I knew I was being loud and obnoxious, but I couldn’t help it. She wanted feelings? I’d give her feelings!
“I did?”
“Yes. You told me that if I walked around naked and got more comfortable being vulnerable, I’d get what I wanted.”
Delphine hesitated. “I’m not sure that’s exactly what I—”
“Yes, it is! You said all I had to do was strip down to my purest self and knock down the walls around my heart. You said what I sought was within. Well, I did all that and unless I was seeking misery and humiliation, it didn’t work!”
“I see. Could I convince you to sit down and just breathe with me for a moment?”
I eyeballed her suspiciously. “Why? So you can feed me more nonsense about my constipated heart energy and then charge me for it? Right now all I want is to plug it up again!”
“No. I won’t charge you for this. I’m only curious. I want to listen.” She gestured to the chair opposite her. “Please. Sit.”
After a moment’s pause, I reluctantly slumped onto the chair. Folded my arms over my chest.
“Thank you.” She gave the sanitizer a few pumps, rubbed her hands together and placed them face up on the table between us. “Give me your hands.”
Again, I hesitated. Again, she waited patiently. Finally, I sat up and laid my palms on top of hers.
“Oh,” she said after a moment. “Interesting.”
I rolled my eyes. “What?”
“Your heart energy is unblocked. It is lighter and flowing freely and powerfully.” She paused. “Your ego is still strong, but your heart has more room now. I can see that you’ve taken down some walls.”
“But it didn’t work,” I said. “I didn’t get the part I wanted. The universe made me think I had the part and then yanked the rug out.”
“Dash, these things aren’t ‘if you do this, then that happens.’ You can’t cause something to happen at a particular moment if it’s not supposed to happen right then. You can only open yourself up to the possibility. You can be ready to receive it. You can even act as if it’s already happened, but the universe is not a vending machine. You can’t put the money in and expect the reward to pop out.”
“That’s not what you said before,” I snapped.
“Yes, it is,” she said calmly. “I told you to stop hiding from your emotions. I told you not to be afraid of them. I told you that tearing down those walls would allow you to access the deepest reaches of your heart. Are you telling me now that you haven’t felt something deep and meaningful since you were here before? Because your energy is saying something different.”
“It’s probably saying I’m in love,” I grumbled. “And that’s all your fault too.”
She barely hid her smile. “Tell me about it.”
I went through the entire story, from the moment I strolled around the corner in my dad’s kitchen naked to the moment I said goodbye and walked away from her house—edited for content, of course.
“Wow,” she said. “It sounds like you two have a special connection. One that goes back a lot of years with many layers to it. Possibly even a past life.”
“Okay, but the problem is that in this life, I can’t be with her.”
“Yes, you can. You’re just scared.”
“I’m not—” I stopped. “Okay, fuck it. Yes. I’m scared.”
“Keep going,” she urged.
“I just feel like . . .” I closed my eyes and swallowed. “Like I’ve got this proof, you know? That life is suddenly cruel. That the things and the people you thought would always be there can be taken away from you. And it will fucking hurt.”
“That’s true, Dash.”
“So you have to do what you can to shield yourself from the bad stuff.”
She shook her head. “You end up shielding yourself from everything. Even the good stuff. And the good stuff is really good—it’s family and friends. It’s that role you want. That house you live in. That dream you have. It’s love, Dashiel. Don’t hide from it. Let it in. Let her in.”
“But not every love story can have a happy ending.” It felt like less of a zinger today.
“Maybe not,” Delphine agreed. “But yours can. Picture it. Right now. Just imagine it. What does it look like? Sound like? Taste like? Smell like? How do you feel inside that future?”
I stared at her in silence, imagining it. A life with Ari in it. Then I closed my eyes and felt chills sweep over my skin. I saw her in a dozen different places—lying on the couch with her head in my lap, cooking in our kitchen, dancing at a wedding surrounded by family, sitting on the couch at family game night. I heard her laughing at something I said, sighing my name as I covered her body with mine, moaning with pleasure as she fell apart beneath me. I tasted everything—a sweet and salty kiss, tarragon and puff pastry, a gas station hot dog, fried pickles at a carnival, braised short ribs on homemade sourdough bread. I smelled that bread in the oven. I smelled the lake rippling in front of us with the moon shining on its surface. I smelled the scent of her warm, soft skin. I felt my fingers running through her hair, my bare chest pressed against hers, the velvet texture of her tongue all over my body.