Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 26557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Her eyes snap to mine and she jumps, as if she’s surprised to see me here, even though I’ve been standing here the whole time. Her fingers tremble as she puts down the page and opens her mouth to speak.
“Cade, I…”
“Baby, I didn’t mean for you to read that letter. I was going to throw it into the fire. It was just something Mom told me to do, to get everything out in the open with your mother, and—”
“My mom,” she says, nodding. “The letter says you’re going to tell me how things were between you. What does that mean?”
I draw a breath. Jesus. I didn’t want to do it like this. I was going to take her somewhere peaceful and bring it all out in the open, but now?
Now she’s demanding the truth, and I can’t deny her anything.
I kneel in front of her and take her hands, glad when she doesn’t shrink away. I know she wants this as much as I do, but if she feels guilty, or that she’s betraying her mother, she’ll run. I’ll never see her again. Because she’s sweet and perfect and I don’t deserve her.
“Baby, I have to tell you something your mom made me promise to never to tell you. She said it would break your heart, that you were too sensitive to understand.”
“You loved each other,” she says with tears in her eyes. I can feel her pulling away from me, not physically but emotionally, and I squeeze her hands hard.
I shake my head. Then nod. “We loved each other, but we weren’t in love with each other. Your mom was the best friend I ever had.”
“What about Davis?” She frowns.
I can’t help laughing. “Yes, her and Davis. But in different ways. But I wasn’t in love with her any more than I’m in love with him. Our whole marriage…” I draw a breath, hating myself for being about to shatter her illusions about love and happiness, but hoping I can help her build new ones. “Our whole marriage was a legally binding agreement, with clauses and conditions. We laid everything out in a contract up front and we both signed it.” I hold up a hand and count off the most important ones on my fingers. “No sleeping together. No sharing a bed. Kisses are to be no more than a peck. Hugging only in public, for the sake of the cameras.”
“What about me?” She narrows her eyes. “Was I in that contract?”
“You were the best thing about that marriage,” I tell her. “Getting to know you made me a better person. And when your mom died, I promised to keep you safe and never to ruin your view of love. But I can’t do it any longer because I love you. I’m in love with you. And to have you in my life, I have to tell you the truth, because otherwise you’ll never forgive yourself.”
“I… I don’t know what to say. It was all a sham?”
I shake my head. “Our marriage wasn’t real but our friendship was. Your mom knew I loved you, and that I’d take care of you. She just didn’t know what form that would take.”
“Do you think she’d be happy for us?”
For a moment I hesitate. I can’t lie to Lennie, not about that.
But in the silence, as I hear the fire crackling, her mother’s voice comes to me. Something she said to me on our wedding day, when we had everyone fooled and we went back to our separate, adjoining rooms in the hotel.
You’re the only man in my life I can trust. You know that? I trust you, Cade Jamison. You’re a better man than you know.
“She would,” I say, and I know it’s true. “All she wanted was for you to be happy. All the fame, all the money, even our marriage, it was to give you the life she wanted you to have. She loved you, Lennie. Your happiness is her happiness. Are you happy?”
“Yes… I…” She grins, blinking away tears. Then she frowns. “There’s something I need to tell you, and I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me. But I can’t go into this with a lie. I can’t. It’s—”
I pull her into my arms. “Baby, there’s nothing you could do that I wouldn’t forgive.”
“Maybe this.”
“Never. Whatever it is, tell me or don’t, I forgive you.”
She shakes her head. “No. You don’t understand. It’s worse than anything you can imagine. It’s—”
“The fire?”
Her eyes go wide, then she starts to pull away.
And I hold her tight.
“Lennie, don’t. Don’t cry…”
“You know what I did? How can you even look at me?”
I kiss her forehead, putting my fingers under her chin to lift it, forcing her to look me in the eye. “You did nothing wrong. Even if you had, I’d forgive you, but you didn’t.”