Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46202 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 231(@200wpm)___ 185(@250wpm)___ 154(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46202 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 231(@200wpm)___ 185(@250wpm)___ 154(@300wpm)
“I know,” I sigh. “But the thing is, we made a promise, me and Damien. We wouldn’t see each other until we’d had another talk.”
“Is it hard?” Anna asks.
I laugh humorlessly. “That’s an understatement.”
Later that evening, after spending some time doing nothing, my phone buzzes, just lying around thinking about Damien.
This is so difficult. XXXXX
My heart whelms at his words, and a smile spreads across my cheeks. It’s looking at those kisses that do it, proof of how far we’ve come. It’s crazy to think that I’ve made love to that man, my crush, the future father of my children.
I know. I’m not sure I can take it. XXXX
It’s killing me too. But we promised. We’ve done enough without going back on this.
I know what he means. We’ve put Dad through enough stress, enough pain without heaping more sneaking around on top of it.
I know. I’m just glad it’s not easy for you too.
I’ve slept maybe three hours since we all talked, Danielle. I’m dying to be with you again. Maybe Max will give me some idea of where he’s at later.
Later?
He’s swinging by here after work. He didn’t say why.
My mind fills with a thousand ugly scenarios, from Dad punching his oldest and best friend to him flatly telling Damien to stay away from me.
I send a message, Good luck. XXXX
Maybe we’re nearing the end.
Or maybe Dad’s going to force us to make an unthinkable choice.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Damien
Max leans on the balcony railing, yawning as he stares out at the city, darkening as the sun sets.
We’ve hardly spoken since he arrived, except when I asked him if he wanted a drink and he told me no.
Now, he glances at me, biting down like he’s trying to figure out the best way to phrase something.
“You’re a good person, Damien,” he says after a pause.
I shake my head. “Got to be honest, I don’t feel that way. I’m sorry for sneaking around, Max. I’m sorry for lying. Or for not telling the truth, which, when we’re talking about your daughter, might as well be the same goddamn thing.”
“I know it must be eating you up inside.”
I swallow, nodding shortly. “I never wanted anything to fuck up what we’ve got, Max. I tried to fight it. Not hard enough, clearly. But Lacey’s right. Maybe not about the destiny stuff. But the idea that there’s something special between me and….”
I cut myself short. He doesn’t need to hear this again.
“Go on,” he says.
“You know how I feel,” I tell him. “I don’t want to rub it in.”
He grimaces tightly, shaking his head. “It’s not rubbing it in, Damien. I used to talk to Lacey all the time about you finding somebody, about how I wish you’d discuss your feelings more. But then, as time passed, I began to wonder if maybe this was it for you.”
“If what was it?”
“This.” He waves a hand at my apartment. “A big empty apartment where you live by yourself…existing for your career and not much else. And the truth is, it made me sad. It made me want you to find somebody even more.”
I sigh. “But you never expected that somebody to be your daughter.”
“No,” he says. “I didn’t.”
I walk over to the balcony, lean against the railing next to him, then raise my hand and point across the city, right to the edge.
“You remember what it was like, living down there? How scared we were about getting robbed all the time? The crime? The fear?”
“I remember,” he says. “I’ll never forget what that was like.”
“Neither will I.” I sigh again. “Max, I’m not sure I can let her go. I know that’s the last thing you probably want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
“She feels the same,” Max says.
“You’ve spoken to her?”
“No, not about this, not since we all met. But Lacey’s talked to her about it. Lacey completely approves, by the way. She says she can easily see how badly you two want each other. She even used the word love, Damien.”
He turns, looking at me.
“Was she right to use that word?”
I think about all the feelings I have for Danielle, starting with simply looking at a photo of her, then progressing through the texts.
It’s true that I had to hide most of my feelings while we were texting, focusing on the lust, but I can’t deny the affection, the warmth surging beneath it all.
“I’ve never been in love,” I tell him. “So maybe you could help me out. I’m certain – more certain than I’ve ever been about anything – that I want to be with her forever. I want to protect her, to support her as she pursues her dreams. I want to have children with her. And the thought of anybody else touching her makes me sick. I’m drunk, if you want the truth, drunk on her. And I never want to be sober.”