Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 108905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
“Learn to turn shit off,” I grumbled as I shuffled across the floor.
There was an envelope on the keyboard, with “Sophie” written on it in Neil’s handwriting.
I frowned. Why would Neil write me a letter? It didn’t make any sense. I clicked on the desk lamp. The envelope wasn’t sealed, and somehow, that made it feel less like snooping, but I still had that sick feeling in my gut that I was doing something wrong. I slipped the paper out and unfolded it.
My darling Sophie—
Know that I loved you more than a human heart should be capable of loving. It’s what made this decision so difficult for me.
Oh god. Oh, god, Neil was leaving me. I collapsed into the desk chair. The sob stuck in my chest was the only thing keeping me from throwing up.
I know you will never forgive me, and I certainly don’t deserve it. Please, don’t believe I chose death over you. I chose it despite my love for you, and for Olivia. And, because of that love, I cannot continue as the stone around your neck. I cannot keep you in this hell with me. And perhaps you’ll feel I’ve plunged you into a new sort of hell. But this is what’s best for both of us. I loved you with my last breath.
Please, never tell Olivia.
Neil. Oh god, what had he done?
CHAPTER NINE
I threw down the letter and raced to the bedroom. Neil lay sprawled on his back, tangled in the sheets. His chest still rose and fell in a steady rhythm, thank God, but I had no idea how long that would last. He’d left that note so that I would find it, probably in the morning. I crossed the floor to the bed in a run and shook his shoulders, shouting, “Neil! Neil, wake up!”
He roused slowly, blinking his eyes up at me.
“What did you take? What did you take?” I cast my gaze around the room, expecting to see empty pill bottles or something. But that only happened in the movies. If Neil was really intent on killing himself, he would have disposed of the evidence.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, his voice hoarse from sleep.
“Tell me what you fucking took!” I didn’t wait for an answer. I charged to the bathroom and threw open the medicine cabinet. Nothing there but his usual prescriptions.
Except the Valium.
I grabbed the wastebasket and poured it out. The empty brown bottle clattered hollowly across the floor. God damn him.
Rushing back to the bedroom, I snatched up my phone.
“Sophie, don’t,” he pleaded. “Just—”
“What? Let you die?” I shouted. “I’m calling an ambulance!”
“No!” He lunged for me to get at the phone, and I took a step back.
“I swear, Neil, if you try that again, I will knock you so flat on your ass you won’t need pills to kill yourself!” I screamed, just as the emergency call connected. I didn’t even wait for the 911 operator finish asking what my emergency was. “My husband is trying to kill himself. He took a bunch of pills. I need an ambulance, right now!”
Neil got out of bed and pulled on the jeans he’d hastily discarded on the floor. Oh, god, that’s why we’d made love. He’d planned on it being the last time.
“Is he conscious?” the operator asked with authoritative calm.
“He is.” My fingers trembled around the phone.
“Do you know what he took?”
“Valium. I don’t know how much, but the whole bottle is empty.”
Neil headed for the door, and I raced him there, throwing myself in front of it and shouting, “No!”
“What’s going on?” the operator demanded. “Ma’am, are you in danger?”
“No.” Even now, as desperate as he was, Neil wasn’t going to hurt me. I knew that the way I knew the Earth was round. “No, he’s just trying to leave, and I don’t know what he’ll do.” I hurriedly recited out the address for her, even though she hadn’t asked, yet. “Please hurry!”
“I’ve got officers in the area, and they’re on the way,” she assured me. “Are there any firearms in the home?”
“No. None that I know of,” I revised. I had no idea if Neil had bought a gun as a backup option. I didn’t know anything about his plans. I didn’t know anything about him, right now, at all.
“Sophie, stop this.” He was trying to sound reasonable, but he was begging. His words were slurred. All the drugs he’d taken were apparently working. My entire body shook with the adrenaline coursing through me. I was fighting for Neil’s life, against Neil.
How did we get here?
The intercom was to my right. I hit the panic button. That would bring our security guards in seconds. I didn’t know if they could help, or if they would think we were just having an out of control domestic situation. Either way, they would buy me time. Neil couldn’t do anything drastic in front of them. Even if he did, they would probably help me stop him.