Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
I scratched the back of my neck. “Well, I was married for the last fourteen years.”
“Of course, of course.”
“But… I guess I was never quite sure how I felt about… that kind of stuff, back in high school.”
“What kind of stuff?”
Red really wasn’t going to let me get away with anything. “Being attracted to guys, I guess. Or to him.”
“I’m not trying to put you on the spot. Well, maybe a little. But I see how Evan feels about you, and… I’m telling you right now, he doesn’t feel that way about anybody else in the damn world.”
“That makes me so happy,” I said.
Red’s eyes were still pinned on mine. “You just need to think about how all of this is making him feel. Do you catch my meaning?”
I nodded. “I think I do.”
“It’s pretty obvious that you two have been more than a little flirty.”
I smiled softly. “Yes. It’s fun. We both think it feels amazing.”
“You sure about that?”
I paused, frozen for a moment. “Evan tells me he loves it,” I said.
Red sighed. “You do realize Evan’s been coming in here month after month, for so damn long, trying to find someone?”
“I know he’s insatiable. Sometimes I think that’s why I… well, maybe this is TMI.”
“No such thing as TMI.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Well, sometimes I think that’s why I get so turned on around him. Christ, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I just… I love how much he wants things. Wants me.”
“Bingo,” Red said. “He wants you, Mitch. And I’m not sure you realize exactly what that means.”
I ran my hands through my hair. My heart rate was going a little bit wild now.
“Evan hasn’t been coming in here just trying to find a hookup. I mean, he’s found a good few hookups over the years, I’m sure of it, but that isn’t what he’s really after. He’s trying to find the One.”
I nodded slowly. “I know he wants to find someone special.”
“And I care about Evan. I’m goddamn scared that in his head, you’re the only ‘one.’ It was one thing when you were away in Chicago and out of sight, but if you’re dangling yourself like a cock-sized carrot in front of his face all the time, you might be the only thing he thinks of forever.”
I felt like a deer in the headlights now. Red was saying things that I probably knew on some bone-deep level, but hadn’t been admitting to myself at all.
I knew he was right. But being with Evan lately had felt so fucking good that I’d been blind to it.
“Evan deserves that kind of real love that we saw in the bar just now,” Red said, nodding out toward the main room. “A boyfriend. A fiance. A husband.”
“He deserves it so fucking much,” I said quietly. “More than anyone.”
“And if you’re not that guy… Evan needs to know it. And he needs to get over you, not get in bed with you, to do that.”
I was shocked when Red closed the distance between us and wrapped me up in a big, bear hug. Red was usually kind of a gruff, matter-of-fact guy, and I definitely didn’t expect him to come and give me a hug.
“I say all of this because I like you, Mitch. I respect you, even though I’ve only known you for a few weeks. And I really, really don’t want to see things go to shit between you and Ev. Got it?”
He pulled back, giving me that intense stare again. “I’ve got it.”
“Good,” he said, giving me a slap on the shoulder before heading back to the next box of bottles.
“Um, there’s… just one problem, though,” I said, still frozen in place.
“What’s up?”
“I think I might be in love with Evan.”
A slow smile spread across Red’s face as he stood back up again. “I’m listening.”
I let out a long exhale. “I don’t know. I feel like… like I missed out on that part of learning about life. I got married so fucking fast, when I was barely eighteen, just because I had to. Or I thought I had to, because of my son. I’m not sure that was real love, even though of course I ended up loving Jess and caring for her very much. But it… never felt like what I felt for Evan. What I feel for him.”
Red nodded, furrowing his brow and listening close.
“But I just don’t know. I only got divorced a few months ago. I feel like I’m still just coming out of my shell. It’s not about guys versus women, it’s about… not knowing what the hell I’m doing in my life at all.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I’ve got a question for you, Mitch.”
“Yeah?”
“You ever think about telling Evan any of this?”
I puffed out a laugh. “I probably should. But fuck, it’s scary. How can so much change all happen so quickly?”